bleahhh;
the last hurrah
& Saturday, September 3
it went fine, thank yall. most of the time.
my thoughts too-much, my expectations impossible, my attitude questionable.
who is surprised?
random thoughts flew and bounced irritably on the walls of my brain, most of the time. ok that's not a bad thing. but considering i was supposed to think geography the entire trip, it wasnt good either. i cant draw, really.
i wish i could. and i promise you if i could, i would draw every feature we see, every detail present, everything. but i cant, i am appalled at my unbelievable lack of talent that i refuse to start. i dont want to ruin what is before my eyes, dont you see. so i used the camera for the reason it was invented, tried to follow the teacher around to listen and learn. when that's done and all the arty-farty people start to doodle, ahh invasion of random thoughts, again.
well i thought i grew out of it. i suppose that doesnt count for anything, because i always think i have grown out of something only to find -to my greatest dismay, i havent. well this is yet another case to prove the above claim. what is it with trips, that this always happens. 12, 14, 17. three school trips, everytime. why my dear?
i decided to read Ecclesiastes. dont ask why, it just felt right. i didnt finish it, but i know the ending. everyone knows the ending. i suppose the difference is the application, which is the toughest yet of highest importance. chasing after the wind. it appeared so many times, strange i never noticed it before. yet it captures all i felt, perfectly.
chase the wind.
tame the sea.
count the sand.
capture the sun.
stop the rain.
calm the storm.
hold the clouds.
lift the rocks.
i cant
i sat on that piece of rock, looking out into the ocean (geographically speaking, it was the south china sea, dont worry ms tham, i know) i felt so small. a timely reminder that i am so weak and useless, really. its amusing how we humans like to think so highly of ourselves, not. something goes like this, in our weaknesses His strength is made perfect. yes something like that. i pray You break my stubborn heart.
and i cling to the ROCK of my salvation. it cant be weathered, it wont be eroded. it'll stay, i'm sure of that. -smile. You = rock.
alrighty details of trip will come soon along with all the cool photos. i had plenty of fun. got to know sixoners a litttlle better, not as much as i hoped but its a start. hardly talked to the teachers. ate too much. took a rock. i havent unpacked. studying starts on monday, so i tell myself. i havent compromised on that yet, esther you dont intend to, please remember. and that's that.
now rubbish.
goodbye
11:15 PM