bleahhh;
the last hurrah
& Friday, December 30
did you gaze at the sky today and think it could never be bluer?
did you look at the clouds and wonder how they can look so much like cotton wool?
did you cut your hair?
did you get bored watching your sister's hair suffering the hairdryer?
did you ask yourself a million times, why she started first and ended last?
did you eat rojak today?
did you go to the library for 10 minutes and come out with 4 big books?
did you ask yourself why you like some serials so much?
did you confirm the fact that your parents' bed is extremely good for afternoons but not for nights?
did you wonder why 3pm takes forever to come, because you want to watch 'the tailor of panama'
did you get bored from writing dates?
did you dread going to church today?
did you conclude that everyone's life is different, and get amazed at how Someone can hold it all together?
one question for You,
are there jigsaws in heaven?
but i cant.
goodbye
2:24 PM
& Thursday, December 29
i've been waffling the entire day.
hate it, i definitely prefer to be clear 'bout what i want, what i must do, what i can do.
never seems to happen, does it.
today reminds me of sisyphus. if i spelt it correctly.
a greek(?) myth about this man, who was made to push a huge rock up the hill.
but the rock always rolled down in the end. so he kept pushing and pushing.
i watched a movie once, and this guy commented.
" were the gods punishing sisyphus? or were they testing him?"
sometimes it feels like whatever you do, you can never get where you want to be.
sometimes it feels like i'm not even half i hope to be.
sometimes i wonder if You have bigger plans.
sometimes i wonder if He ever gets disappointed.
sorry i'm afraid to fail.
too afraid of disappointment, i rather forgo the possibility of the prize.
You showed Yourself to thomas. wont You do it again?
to another thomas too sceptical.
goodbye
11:50 PM
& Wednesday, December 28
HM i can't do math homework.
not that i dont want to do, i can't.
maclurin's is beyond me, maybe it's because i didnt copy all the lecture examples :(
oh well, complex numbers loci is worse.
oh no. so much for catching up.
SAT english is scary.
grammar exercises? percentile 46% ± 11%.
with uncertainty somemore.
oh crapcrap.
you made me cry.
Why regret?
Why are chocolates nice?
Why do we dream?
Why nightmares?
Why is english so tough?
Why is punctuation so important?!?!?!
What's the difference between a semi-colon and a comma? A DOT.
yet they say it that makes all the difference.
sigh- O well
Why, just why, after an ENTIRE day of wondering, i get the answer in the toilet?
that's so stupid, it's almost funny.
okkk, i'll bring all the scary math to the toilet.
get my dad to fix a table and aircon.
and solve math on the toilet bowl.
goodbye
8:49 PM
& Tuesday, December 27
i was happy today.
because i felt like i did what i ought to.
now it seems like every happy thought ran away.
cmon man, it's not as if i did it on purpose.
well sorry i didnt have your permission to do that.
i can't be trusted. is that what you think ?
not that i'm perfect, but have i ever failed you?
said something i shouldnt?
argh go away.
Why is it the day i promised myself never to be angsty again, it just happened?
i'm going back to math, to calm my nerves.
and wonder if tomorrow
i'll feel bad about what i wrote today.
or if tomorrow
it'd hurt just as bad as today.
goodbye
9:04 PM
& Monday, December 26
waffle: To speak or write in a vague manner; to be unable to decide between things.
entrance (verb) is To put into an ecstasy; to ravish with delight or wonder; to enrapture..
inter (verb) is To deposit and cover in the earth; to bury..
ferret (verb) is Search out and bring to light; to drive out from a hiding place..
vivisection (noun) is The dissection of an animal while alive, for the purpose of making physiological investigations..
imbue (verb) is To tinge deeply; to dye; to become impressed or penetrated..
proselytize (verb) is To convert to some religion, system, or opinion
allegory (noun) is A work of art (story, painting, etc) in which a secondary meaning underlies the obvious message..
omg that is scary. SATs are killing when your vocabulary is errr, disgusting. what's worse, you have this vocab queen sitting next to you, making you feel stupiddd. oh hello erjie! haha she's really good. we could pretend we're siamese twins (coughhh) and go sit for the exam. HAHA i'll do the math and she do the england (like duh). perfect!
oh man, who am i kidding.
can i quote a friend? not quote quote, i'll give you the gist. so it went..
"my dad is hooked on some korean show. da chang jing or something like that. surprise surprise, it happens to be the EXACT same show esther is crazy about. now that speaks alot x). " something like that.
HMMM someone tell me does this bunch of sentences have a negative connotation (SAT vocab word!) or is it complimentary? well that "x)" looks as if my weird friend wants to die. BUT she compared me to her father, so it MUST be good. HAHA thankyou you, whoever you are x)
i've switched to math. like 20 mins after doing vocab. what is horrifying is math ain't easy after all. HM goodbye US. -sigh BUT what is fabulous is i cant take the test in march, so the next available date is may! yay more time to study (:
it's funny, i used to be terribly sad when christmas was over. i would think to myself, crap another 364 more days to the next christmas. why? is it because to me, christmas is all about presents? number of presents is indirectly proportional to age . so that's why i dont look forward to christmas anymore. is it? that's a scary thought. it's more than family, more than friendship, more than love. it has to be, cmon we celebrate them in almost every other festival. the whole world is talking about the true meaning of christmas. every movie talks about putting aside wealth and work for family and friends. i never write x'mas. no, i wouldnt dare take the 'Christ' out of 'Christmas'. is that enough? will You teach me?
questions questions questions. i have many, weird ones that pop into my head and leave so quickly, as if it never came. persistent ones that stay, never to go away. funny ones, i know have no answer. scary ones, i dare not ask. some questions, i reserve just for my creator. cmon let the asking begin..
why am i afraid of spending eternity in heaven?
when God gives me my new body, can i give suggestions?
why are movies so captivating?
why is mankind so fickle?
why do some people pretend to not care about anything, when in actual fact they care too much?
why didnt God give singapore oil?
How does God love so many people at one time?
Does He, for a milli-milli-dilli-tilli-zilli second stop?
If He knew all the sins i would commit given free will, why did He still create me?
Will there be a day, just one occasion where God expects me to fall into temptation, but i didnt?
What does God look like?
Will i be able to touch Him? In heaven, will He eat dinner at everyone's mansion at the same time?
Will there be baked beans in heaven?
Will i have to share my house with my siblings in heaven?
will there be bicycles in heaven?
can i shop in heaven?
can i watch movies in heaven?
must i study in heaven?
will i meet Mr Pythagoras, just to ask him why he made math a little tougher.
Will i meet Mr Trigonometry or Mr Superposition?
Why do i ask some questions, when i already know the answer?
goodbye
7:45 PM
& Friday, December 23
funny lines we used to say.
when you want to compete, say.
"last one in is a rotten dinosaur egg"
we said this to each other, until we realised being a rotten dinosaur egg doesnt scare us no more.
when no one believes you, say.
"you dont believe me? nevermind i believe myself"
i think, self confidence is such a wonderful thing. because when we said it last time, we really meant it.
someone tell me why it seems so hard to believe in oneself. now.
of course who can forget the art of copying.
hey
hey
dont copy me
dont copy me
i am stupid
you are stupid
LAUGH. not that we dont do it now. just in a much lower frequency.
ERR when the holidays arrive. two questions never fail to pop up.
"can we go to the zoo?"
"can we watch sound of music?"
gosh was that really us. it's scary that i'm gonna be allowed to watch Mature 18 shows next year.
YES YES YES!
and the A levels next year.
in the blinkling of an eye, i'll be changing my ezlink to the stupid adult card which charges insane prices.
and goodbye school uniform. hello UNI.
my sister would probably say i think too far and that i better concentrate on As first.
BUT i cant not think far.
for example, from primary 2.
when i walk up that long long walkway to school, most days i would think about the day i would get my BCG. it sounds insane but its true. then the day finally came.
someone told me that there's gonna be another injection in sec4, and that they would use FIRE this time. i freaked, and waited and it didnt happen.
sorry i have worry genes in my blood. and sometimes it feels like i got all my parents WORRY genes, so there's none left for jane and ziteng. frankly they dont seem to worry at all. not too sure about agnes though, she didnt really talk much. to me at least. i worry about ting xie, spelling, tests, PSLE, O levels. whether the dentist is gonna call my name tomorrow. whether mummy is gonna scold after i cut ziteng's hair. anyway i did get scolded, and caned 4 times.
sigh those were the days.
oh yes, i just spoilt one of mummy's plates.
-shakehead.
goodbye
9:39 PM
& Wednesday, December 21
DA CHANG JING. is over :(
all serials walk out on me.
baoqingtian didnt last, xunqinji didnt last, so here it goes all over again.
anyway, we watched the special yesterday. they invited most of the cast down and screened the memorable lines, the jokes, the NGs and what-have-yous. well, changjin was a litttlleee disappointing. too shy -shudder, BUT i still love the show :) oh the best was 'cui shang gong'. i hated her in the show, cos she was evil. but she was really FARNIE and pretty :) alright this show's done. i've watched 'love actually' once through, and the ending thrice. so that show's done too. now there is absolutely nothing to watch, which only means one thing.
HOMEWORK.
you never seem to walk out on me, do you.
kingkong is too long. movies are getting worse, or i'm getting pickier.
and i seem to irritate mummy more. shucks la, when i try to be good it's never enough. when i stop trying it gets worse. every new year, comes a resolution to be better. every scolding comes a resolution to stop caring anymore. i NEVER succeed, never ever. You said "honour".
dear jiejie, i am so so glad you wish you were in singapore. because i wish you were here too. HAHA christmas wont be the same without you. we'll survive it, sure. but it wouldnt be the same. as you celebrate the birth of our Lord there, remember us will you? as you celebrate new year, your birthday, chinese new year and my birthday (ahem) there, remember us :) you'll be in my heart! and i'll be praying that God will shower snow-blessings, and give you a warm warm room. because the best thing is to experience warmth, while looking at b-e-a-u-tiful snow right?! LOL miss you! till we meet again. love
it's good, it's G O O D.
oh yes, i watched bruce almighty.
quote "how do you make someone love you without touching free will"
and " since when did man know what's best for them".
everyone quote TMS!
goodbye
9:49 PM
& Tuesday, December 20
i lost my phone. life is so terribly ironic, it's almost funny.
well, i have to apologise to sherman one more time. i am so so sorry. thanks for being really nice about it. frankly if i were in your position, i doubt i'll be that forgiving. cheerios!
whee the 18th is finally over.
apart from screwing up the verse, it went really well :)
cheers to lijun and gloree for being fantastic marketing people. i had loads of fun with the hamsters, who were too hungry they wanted to eat me. HAHA joke kinggggg. nevertheless, i look forward to more opportunities
1) to design chronicles that do not exist, priceless too i might add which i bet no one noticed.
2) to come up with more puns like..
F I R E W O R K S (pretend there's a dot in between. will you)
encounter 2nd july ...... again (did anyone notice that?)
3) to come up with awesome posters, in one afternoon!
4) TO EAT MORE CHILLI. -laugh
5) just to work with you both again. aww
ps: ahem the fireworks poster has NO blooper. anyway you cant check it out because we've taken them home. HAH.
thank You for ideas and resources and computers and photoshop. it's funny how we ( or maybe only me) were so freaked out at the idea of MARKETING. and this is the time to quote a tms verse!
Rely on God's Resources
His Faithfulness
Lam 3 : 22-23
Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning, great is Your faithfulness. :D
which actually brings me to the point. TMS.
haha the level 46s won! it's weird how no one mentioned much about it (esp crys who was SO excited :p). oh well, i thought i'll be devastasted but it didnt happen. was sort of expecting us to lose, actually. there's still next year and next year and next year. afterall, it's not about winning, it's about fun. RIGHT?!
it's about God who never lies.
dear Jesus, i appreciate that most, because i fail. love -
forgive me.
i'm still trying to get a grip of the situation.
and troubled.
goodbye
11:20 PM
& Saturday, December 17
Ezra was a priest.
Nehemiah was a governor.
Esther was a jew.
David wrote alot of psalms.
Ezra was a scribe.
Nehemiah was a cupbearer.
Esther was queen.
David wrote too many psalms. jokinggg.
pre-TMS jitters. HAHA.
" remember me with favour O Lord. "
i wish i could say that. HMM
oh the HEART. it's always the heart.
pray for the heart
pray for the heart.
goodbye
10:47 AM
& Thursday, December 8
subdue monster.
kill monster.
destroy monster.
dear monster,
go away.
with all my heart,
me.
oh yes.
camp is tomorrow.
goodbye
9:05 PM
& Wednesday, December 7
wah laoooo.
stupid l g i l j o u r n i.
GAHH.
ok that's done.
i wish it snowed.
then it'll be so cold, all you're thinking about is the cold.
cold starts conversations, dont you think
first you curse the weather, then you laugh, keep talking.
i wish it snowed.
then it'll be so cold, you quit thinking about other things.
cold makes you look forward, dont you think.
you see white, knowing that one day it'll disappear.
more beauty awaits, as if it aint pretty enough.
i wish it snowed.
then it'll be so cold, everything seems to die.
just to start living again.
i wish it snowed.
with mist appearing from your mouth and nose.
reminds you you're still alive
and breathing.
sorry for being the lousiest friend.
i guess i'm the worst huh.
:(
goodbye
9:45 PM
& Monday, December 5
i never thought this day will come.
so i'm meeting yall in like 2 hours.
what's gonna happen.
what's gonna be the first thing i say when i see you and you and you.
who's going anyway?
what will we talk about during dinner?
what what what.
i'm afraid, almost ashamed of this ridiculous fear that wouldnt go.
When Earth's last picture is painted
And the tubes are twisted and dry
When the oldest colours have faded
And the youngest critic has died
We shall rest, and faith, we shall need it
Lie down for an aeon or two
Till the Master of all good workmen
Shall put us to work anew
And those that were good shall be happy
They'll sit in a golden chair
They'll splash at a ten league canvas
With brushes of comet's hair
They'll find real saints to draw from
Magdelene, Peter and Paul
They'll work for an age at a sitting
And never be tired at all
And only the Master shall praise us
And only the Master shall blame
And no one will work for the money
No one will work for the fame
But each for the joy of the working
And each, in his separate star
Will draw the thing as he sees it
For the God of things as they are.
-Rudyard Kipling
what if.
goodbye
3:44 PM
& Sunday, December 4
i'm at stupid lijun's house.
so hello!
gosh if i died everytime she told me go and die.
i would have ascended to heaven (i hope) a million times.
sheesh.
HAHA.
alright she's talking to me now.
i can never multi-task
so i better get off before she asks me to die again.
ahoy from the chan residence.
and i'll be at the tan residence in two days time.
LOL more fun with the sweet hamsters :)
who love me, i might add.
grin.
goodbye
2:07 PM
& Thursday, December 1
oh i forgot to say.
i miss sixone.
for the first time in my entire life.
i've been reading the sports page, hoping to find manyi in it.
HAHA you go girl!
praying for you, my friend.
jiayou!! sail away:]
hey jie!
we're back safe and sound.
did you worry again??
LOL.
miss you :)
ditto jane.
thank You for parents who sacrifice so much.
i didnt realise how much till that day in your apartment.
i really didnt.
thank you.
goodbye
9:29 PM
&
we're back from the land from far far away.
back to stay, i know, to your dismay.
2 lies.
number 1, we didnt go far away.
number 2, i aint back to stay.
i'll go away again.
shucks
i think going away's a drug. i'm hooked.
anyway, we went to the land of 'tandas' and 'keluar'
to the land which is almost an island, but not quite.
to the land
to the land
i am not making any sense, am i?
disconnected thoughts, i need to straighten some stuff out.
oh well, wanna know the details of the trip.
just go to THE sister's blog, if you know who she is.
physically, it's easy. some stranger in the mall asked THE question again.
"are you both twins?" *&@^# (i'm joking)
ARGGHHHH. we dont look alike. c'mon.
once and for all. let's look at all the differences shall we.
number 1: she's thinner.
number 2: she's whiter.
number 3: she's more errr, girl?
number 4: her hair's longer.
number 5: our teeth are different.
number 6: our eyes are different.
number 7: she wear's silver specs, i wear black specs. (ok that's if we wear specs)
number 8: if you hear us, she's the one who knows everything, i know nothing.
unless you are talking about music and movies, then i know everything and she knows nothing.
of course everything does not mean everything
nothing does not mean nothing.
i'm trying to say something.
you get it.
number 9: i'm the one who read mystery and crime and thrillers. she reads errrr. biographies and everything that are not related to mystery and crime and thrillers. (wait you cant tell that from our faces)
number 10: i'm taller. HAH.
this post is meaningless and going no where.
nevertheless i'm proud to be your sister.
and proud to be my big sister's sister. and proud to be my brother's sister.
i am so so so proud to say that my brother has learnt MAHJONG.
yipeeyipeedoodoo.
then next time at during chinese new year,
while papa plays mahjong with his siblings
we, 4, will play it at home. HAH. that sounds really good.
oh yes, i'm hooked on jigsaw.
and da chang jing. nice korean show :))
goodbye
8:53 PM