bleahhh;
the last hurrah
& Tuesday, May 31
brothers.
they drive you up the wall, they crack you up.
my brother is witty. yes believe it.
sure he gets into trouble so many times because he doesnt think before words shoot out from his mouth . but there's a talent, obviously.
no wonder my mum is often charmed, no wonder jane is often amused.
much as i wish your voice would break soon, i know i will miss the times when papa mistakes you for me or me for you when he calls because we sound alike. oh by the way, i reallyreally miss the times when i could beat you in arm wrestling and chinese chess. but things have changed and now i dont compete cos i dont like to lose.
of course, how could i forgot.
the many times relatives made us stand back to back to see who was taller. i think i spent most part of my childhood years taking pleasure in remaining just 1cm taller than you. but things have changed and now i look like a hobbit beside you.
the many times we fight for the remote control. i could never(and still dont infact) understand why you like watching soccer/pool/golf(?!?!)/car racing/mr bean cartoons.
the many times i feel like punching you and knowing the feeling is mutual.
heh i beat you in the puzzle game yesterday. and we'll play bingo soon. i promise(:
goodbye
8:55 AM
& Monday, May 30
ok something is not right.
and it's freaking me out. like totally.
ohh i finished a spectacle of corruption by david liss. last night.
on my bed as usual with the little night light because sister in opposite bed was sleeping already.
anyway she'll be glad to hear that i've finished the book since she was reading it halfway when i stole it from her.
ok i shall kid myself that one month to relearn an entire first semester's work is more than enough, and go hunt for more books later in the week. grr i have no intention of doing any work or ironing. so i guess i'll spend this wonderful day watching a vcd and curling on the comfy couch while getting lost in sidney sheldon's book are you afraid of the dark.
big sister in the uk!
are you 888888? yea you forgot to leave your initials. but i deduced its you because you asked if it were hols so i figured the sender must be someone out of touch with singapore since holidays are such a huge thing here. lol(: anyway thanks for the message and study hard! take comfort that when you come back, your little sisters will be going through the dreaded examinations while you have fun working. take care(:
goodbye
9:30 AM
& Sunday, May 29
i love eventful weeks.
heh this has been an extremely great last-week-of-term.
memorable. the kind of week that you will never forget for as long as you live.
oh yes before i forget. i must apologise to evan for lying to her. actually i wasnt really lying. i DID plan to do homework the moment i got home last sunday. crossmyheart- but the couch looked so inviting and i was really sleepy so yea, i fell asleep.
and then there was a beautiful mind, i was so looking forward to it i couldnt do any work that night.
and then on vesak day my mum accompanied my dad to batam so we were alone at home and one thing led to another, we watched PARENT TRAP after playing the entire morning. i can never do any work at night. sigh the long weekend flew by and i never realised until i woke up on tuesday morning.
ESTHER, master of procrastination.
i LOVE matches. as in tennis hockey soccer!!
went for every single finals last week which were (see above)
ok so vj didnt win any of them except hockey girls -which earned us a half day off! whee(:
soccer should have won! it was reallyreally disappointing because they lost during the penalty kick (is that how you call it). oh well i've realised how exciting soccer matches are! i still hate watching it on tv but being at the stadium is entirely different. you feel fear, literally.
i thank God for blessing me with my voice. i dont know why but i can never seem to lose it. you would think that with all the shouting and junkfood last week. my voice should be non-existent. but NO, it's still here. lol! i'll be at every single sport finals next year, promise(: in fact i cant wait.
thank you 05s61!
you made my week exceptionally lovely. am delighted to be in a class that shares my love for matches and mahjong and vcds. one day we are so gonna go to nicole's house again to watch scary vcds while playing mahjong and eating the onion rings that her brother buys which are totally tasteless unless you put a dozen in your mouth. cheers!
and thanks for the cake and gift. ok i'm sorry i lied. i sorta knew that yall bought something but i couldnt possibly say that when yall asked if i knew right?! so i acted blur and ignorant and surprised. but i'm reallyreally touched. xie xie!
of course today! the first sunday of the holidays.
what better way then to
-have a lesson on convictions
-eat lunch with superduper level5s
-go on shopping spree with mode. AGAIN i must add.
-ARCADE!! girls beat guys in the drumming game/machine (whatever you call it). so much for guys having a better drum sense than girls hur. haha! and of course lijun won bishibashi handsdown. AGAIN i must add. pity we couldnt play air hockey, then all can see the ultimate pro, RYAN!
-get birthday presents! yes lijun i will bring it for church camp, along with all the PF stuff! haha(:
3 angpows! whee shopping with jane soon who will pay for my pullover, since she hasnt got me a present and refuses to give me money.
-watch armageddon! oh man i love this show.
sigh i'm gonna spend my whole day at home tomorrow. guess that's a good thing cos you know how they always say that important dates should be used as times in your life when you reflect and make new resolutions. of course i'll probably do a little work and iron my clothes in the effort to fulfill my most important resolution of not procrastinating. and spend time with JESUS!
what better way to spend a day(:
goodbye
11:00 PM
& Tuesday, May 24
i absolutely enjoyed the long weekend.
maybe its because i didnt do a single homework.
maybe its because we had extended time.
maybe its because i watched 2 great movies.
maybe its because holidays are reallyreally round the corner.
sheesh i've been counting down since forever.
church camp! i'm with jane. lijun's with gloree.
ok maybe we could request for a connecting door then we will have a super huge room with 2 toilets and then everyone can come to our room at night to play 4 on a couch! and the game we played last year where we fold the paper and write insane stuff like they jumped on a cow and flew to the moon. yay! and my family is going port dickson after the church camp! happy- pity agnes cant be with us. so now we are short of a person to play mahjong and bridge. ziteng refuses to learn the game because of the-black-box. oh well.
tennis girls lost to RJ. joyce was really good though(: YOU ROCK!
watching them play made me want to play tennis. so i'm gonna pull my brother to play with me during the hols. sigh there is so many things to do and catch up on. there is like a huge pile of books at the side of my table beckoning me. but trigo graphs/chinese book reviews/comprehension refused to be ignored. shudder-
yes yes conscience
i will try to finish my homework.
i will do my study time table soon.
i will pack my table and ever-messy cupboard.
i will file my worksheets.
i will not skip econs tutorial again.
soccer tomorrow! i cant wait.
please win. then fulldayoff!! YAY(:
goodbye
11:30 PM
& Saturday, May 21
In Christ Alone
In Christ alone will i glory
Though i could pride myself in battles won
For i've been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone i overcome
Oh, i could stop and count success
like diamonds in my hand
But those trophies could not equal
to the grace by which i stand
In Christ alone will i glory
For only by His grace I am redeemed
Only His tender mercy
could reach beyond my weakness to my need
Now i seek no greater honour
Than just to know Him more
And to count my gains
But losses to the glory of my Lord
In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone
a lesson of humility.
bids me come and die and find
that i may truly live.
goodbye
11:50 PM
& Wednesday, May 18
an insane thought.
xian yun jie teng
it sounds like some chinese cheng yu.
heee(: i wonder what it could mean.
perhaps the weird phenomenon(ilovethisword)
of a family with children where the
oldest = shortest
youngest = tallest
heh(: ok i am very mean.
but believe it or not, i AM the second tallest among us.
JIEJIE!
i havent seen you online for quite a while.
anyway in case you were wondering,
we gave papa his birthday present.
and he IS using it. (:
you're coming home soon!
icantwait.
goodbye
10:35 PM
&
i can never figure this out.
why do you call them xian, yun, teng.
why do you call me esther? please call me jie again.
i miss it. i really do.
the first PW meeting was bad.
you are nice, but it is just sooo tough to work with you.
nearly bit my tongue off trying to shut up.
grr. i hate feeling frustrated.
what is it about transitions that makes you so disorientated.
sheesh i miss the times when all i had to think about was:
how to finish watching flintstones, and then try to bathe packbag eatlunch in 15 mins.
how to practise piano 15 mins before the teacher comes and make her think i practised everyday.
if i could turn back time. i promise i will play the piano every single day.
but i can't. there is no remedy for regret. only vaccines.
so i guess when parents say do your best.
its for your own good really. i wish i'd known that before.
and not ask how do you know what my best is when i myself have no idea all the time.
cos you'll just know. when you have given it all, that is.
9 days to thelongbreak.
1 saturday
1 sunday
1 public holiday
1 promised fulldayoff.
1 possible whole-school-support-soccer-day.
therefore, 4 days left!
and one stupid GPP. ugh:(
i need to learn love.
goodbye
9:48 PM
& Thursday, May 12
an insane fetish for top hats.
yes they are useless. i know
but i especially like the one in whose line is it anyway.
i have to stop saying wahlaoeh.
yes it is extremely uncultured. i know
ugh. hammer me if you hear it again.
i can go on. but my brother is pestering me.
yes i'm supposed to let him use it at 8. i know.
so he's been going:
10 more minutes
5 more minutes
1 more minute
SAN JIE!
okok. you're lucky its your birthday tomorrow.
so i shall hold my tongue and give in.
goodbye
8:03 PM
& Monday, May 9
a broken spirit. a contrite heart.
You will not despise.
stumbling back to the potter.
goodbye
9:58 PM
& Friday, May 6
1 kings 19.
elijah: i am the only one.
God: 7000, my child, seven thousand.
how many times have i underestimated You?
forgive me Father. and i thank You for opening my eyes to Your greatness and power. again(:
OCS-officer cadet school.
it was awesome.
if i were a guy, i would reallyreally want to go there.
but i'm not. heh(:
i went up the tower! i have no idea what it is called but the view was great.
the senior cadet who brought us around is cool. he speaks well with no singlish whatsoever. articulation was great. volume was good. speaking is soooo important if you want to leave a good impression. to me at least. and he did(:
had a loong talk with nicole today. from vj all the way to OCS. ok we spent almost the entire journey talking about one subject. we still have no idea on how to solve the problem and make things a little better, but i guess at least i know i'm not the only one who feels this way. i came up with a conclusion though.
some girls never grow up.
most guys havent grown up.
all of us need to grow up.
doesnt solve our problem at all. maybe its because this IS the root of the problem. and i feel helpless. sigh.
the musical was great.
i shall not elaborate. you wanna know how good it was, ask my dearest sister.
courage is resistance to fear,
mastery of fear.
not absence of fear.
-mark twain
goodbye
10:31 PM
&
yes i admit writing is therapeutic.
in the attempt to be less angsty and complainy.
and of course more good-natured and less irritable.
i've decided to have free therapy.
write. talk. walk.
and probably run after i recover from today.
i wont write here and bore you with all the little details. no worries(:
i agree with him.
to be my own best friend.
how important. and yet the world is so caught up with image and appearances.
we lose ourselves.
ohh hi jie!
you just came online. but i'm not.
and i'm tired.
so yea i'm gonna sleep.
you take care there(:
goodbye
12:08 AM
& Thursday, May 5
i hate running under stress.
its bad enough to have some crazy teacher say before your run.
welcome to the victoria turf city. you are horses and the sport officials at the side of the track are the bookies. they will make sure you run every single round. so you better not cheat and run 5 rounds only. because we have no way to check your correct timing. you will have to run another 7 rounds and we will have your time for 12 rounds. then we divide by 2. SIGH.
the ultimate was some insane guy who they call the fireman. spraying water at people running.
goodness what was that about?!
ok i shouldnt be complaining. after all its thanks to vjc that i improve my timing by 2 minutes from last year. -happyhappy(:
ohh OCS tomorrow(:
i have no idea what we're gonna do there but its gonna be fun.
yay! could really use this time to catch up with nicole.
havent had a longlong talk with her in ages.
and we get to miss TWO-period econs tutorial!
the question.
what's the best thing to have on the long walk home?
my best friend. He knows everything. yea He knows all the words i've said and the words i'm gonna say even though i have no idea what i'm gonna say. i can tell him anything knowing that He is all-knowing. and when i have no idea how to say what i feel. i can just say, You know? and the best part. He knows(:
all of a sudden you've reached home. and you wish the walk were a little longer.
walks are always lovely when you talk.
and talk. i did. He did.
goodbye
7:44 PM
& Tuesday, May 3
bleahhh.
i hate sophisticated handphones.
my brother thinks i'm crazy.
i say the phone is too heavy.
amfickleminded.
so i switched back to my beloved 6610i(:
sigh we never appreciate things/people
until they're gone.
CSI! tonight.
this is like one out of two shows i watch a week.
i cant believe that too:(
i want the brains of people in CSI.
i want the spectacles of drew carey in whose line is it anyway.
goodbye
9:46 PM
& Monday, May 2
i cannot believe this.
me and sherman are fighting online.
and after all the words and bangs. we say that we are actually grinning. and having a fun time.
unbelievable right?! but its true. we're REALLY having fun. and i assure you we are REALLY grinning. (:
yea i know i'm not a meanie. (somehow i can hear lijun whining nooooo estheerr isss sooo meeannnnn.) but i'm sure i'm not. haha(:
YOU GO throwing-rocks-at-black-box, bluffing-stella, baby-glove and grinning partner! sigh its sad that we have done so many evil deeds and crazy stuff together and we're still clueless about each other's chinese names. LOL(:
whooo digital camera. hee(:
now the next thing i have to do is to scheme and make sure i get the camera during the church camp. then i will go out with my photo-printing-partner! and everyone around us will get a sweet present again. we are so un-mean, aint we mode?!
ok the scheming thing sounds so immature and childish. better stop it before stella takes back all her words on sunday.
yes i will be unmean. ASK nicely and SHARE with my siblings.
oh yes! level5s!
who is going to my guitar concert?!
anyone else? its on friday the 13, 730pm.
as of now it is lynette lijun evan and gloree. so i'm only gonna get 4 tickets.
please confirm all of you especially gloree!!
so here is the comment page for your convenience and so that you neednt waste your sms.
why am i so nice?
goodbye
9:47 PM
&
sigh. i hate being accused of being mean when i was actually being nice.
SHERMAN PUN *** ***(whatever your chinese name is)
i cant believe you said i was mean.
how was i supposed to know you read all the entries despite complaining they were essay-long. i put you first to spare you the agony of reading the whole long entry. i did say "sherman! you can stop here now" didnt i?
see, you are the least important because you are in the first paragraph.
NOT you are in the first paragraph because you are the least important.
either way you're still the least important. but that is not the point.
i was being nice!! getit?!
ok i sound really fierce but the truth is i'm grinning while writing this(: haha.
preliminary idea draft 2 is done!
this is like the only thing i did in the entire day other than eating and changing my bedsheet.
(cos my mum wants everything to be the same too. LOL(:)
don't worry if you didnt understand that.
and we're finally getting another digital camera!! YAY!
(because the family one is always jumping from singapore to uk to america to uk. you get the idea.)
a short entry. finally.
goodbye
3:03 PM
& Sunday, May 1
sunday 1may labour day.
mindblowing day(as stella would put it)
cant-believe-i-survived-it day(as i would put it)
this is ranked by level of importance.
least important first(:
#1sherman and i bought this cool kid-glove from some winter clothes store. so we each took one to put our handphones. supercool with the little space for your thumb sticking out! heh(: ok i dont know which is more important, this or the next. but considering sherman hates essay-entries, i decided to be nice and put the paragraph with him in it first. therefore it is the least important. hey sherman! you can stop here now.
#2i got a new phone! my auntie lent it to me. nokia 6600. it looks like a guy phone and it's huge. but the new glove is big enough. great camera(:
#3COACH CARTER.
this is a great show. gosh i am so glad that it is the last show i'm gonna watch for a very long time(stupid one dollar rise in tickets.)
figureofspeech:doilooklikei'mmadeupofmoney?! samuel L jackson rocks!! bigtime. it is a true story by the way which is the reason why i reallyreally wanted to watch it. yea we can change things. if our intentions are right with God. and we dont give up. WATCH IT!
#4this was supposed to be an angtiest entry ever.
because i was so close to getting into extremelyawfullyincredibly badbadbad trouble you wouldnt believe it. trust me. the movie was so long and i was late for dinner at my grandparent's place. (i am not weird. if you were my sibling you would understand my freak-outness) i couldn't concentrate on the last part of the movie which is the most important. sigh.
-ran down all the escalators in PS. from the top all the way to the bottom.
-ran to the mrt. wheezed through the open-shut-thing. ran down the escalator.
-waited for the train which took forever to come.
-boarded the train. thought about what happened the entire day and of course about what i was gonna do to get to her place in the shortest possible time.
-alighted the train. ran up the escalator. wheezed through the open-shut-thing. ran up the long escalator.
-ran across the road. under the void decks. to the lift.
-waited for the lift which took forever to come. waited in the lift which took forever to go up.
-finally the door.
gosh i was so tired. i felt like i did 1000 sucides.
it so did not help that my mother had a black face and an edgy voice the moment she saw me.
it so did not help that my brother spend the whole entire night saying.
sanjie you are going to die.
i tell you mummy is going to kill you.
wah you really screwed up this time. all the best man.
personally, i think he was gloating that for once i was in trouble and he was not.
well sorry to disappoint you bro, MUMMY DID NOT SCOLD ME AT ALL.
she even called me GOOD GIRL in my grandmother's house because i went to help wipe the dishes without being asked to (of course that is because i was feeling guilty about being so late. but that's beside the point. i rarely hear that from her. so i'm happy!)
she did not say a single thing at home! whooa all the worrying for nothing.
i must thank stella!
i think its because you asked me to msg her that i didnt get scolded. see, i msged her like 3 minutes before my dad called. i thought she knew i msged her but the truth is, her phone was on silent mode. so she had absolutely no idea that i did. ohh the 3 minutes saved my life.
shui luo shi chu! and she wasnt angry anymore.
i must thank my parents too of course.
thank you for being so strict. even though it is so scary sometimes.
i know you love me.
#5 EXTENDED TIME.
how apt that i spend 45 minutes walking with Him yesterday
that i felt the joy and delight of having extended time with Him before today's lesson.
cant wait till 22 may!
i decided to give 10% of time every week to Him.
You never said following You is easy
You only said You will never leave me
goodbye
9:38 PM