bleahhh;


the last hurrah

& Tuesday, August 30

school trip number 3.
wow so exciting :))

so tomorrow i'll be jetting, actually no coaching up to malaysia. arh did i mention that 16 sixoners are going, out of 25 altogether. no there are not that many geog-ers in a science class, just that we managed to convince 4 chem-ers to join in the fun. its wasnt that hard, really. you just had to say we'll be missing one whole friday and you can pay fully by edusave. they will say yes i'm sure, cos i would say the exact same thing if i were in their shoes.

ok i should stop rambling about how easy it is to convince people to go on a geog trip. and start saying my goodbyes and happy-s.

GOODBYE! to all you poor souls stuck with one last dreaded friday of the dreaded term 3.
especially to the little sixoners left in class. i suggest yall plan a class outing and not come to school at all, because it is pointless coming to class without the cool geog-ers around. and also because almost every lesson is cancelled right?! haha love yall and take care!

GOODBYE! to all the cool people at home. too bad i'm going to miss cool-sister's korean-noodle lunch or something like that. i always seem to miss her cooking, weird how things work out. to little brother who's still a little sick. get well soon and i promise to take loads of pictures of the kota rainforest resort and you can see if that's where you were at camp. to artsy-sister who must study for prelims. MUST STUDY! then you can go to england, then teng and i can be alone at home for once, then we'll burn the house down. i am so serious, hah! to papa who'll be in malaysia when i'm in malaysia. i love you. to mummy who'll be in singapore when i'm in malaysia. i love you.

GOODBYE! to baoqingtian.
sigh i know its impossible to receive singapore channels in kuantan. unless there's cable or something, which i doubt. oh well i bought i-zhou-kan. it wont be the same but i'll make do :)

this is crazy,
i sound like i'm going forever.
oh well, the happy-s.

HAPPY teachers' day!
laysiang and eugene, thank you and you so so much! you both totally rock:)
note: stella refuses to acknowledge herself as my teacher. sigh:( she said and i quote i'm your youth leader cum friend. well youth leader/teacher/friend whatever, yall taught me alot. even though i havent been the best student, i'm really trying. thank yall for your time and love, xiexie!

HAPPY teachers' day!
mr ho and mr chad and mr pang and mr lee and ms tham, yes mr ueng you as well.
i really cant say i love you all the time, but i'm glad yall're my teachers. even though i am like your worst student and i havent been trying hard to stay awake. i thank yall for your knowledge and not giving up even when we are so disgusting i cant stand it. i'll study for promos, promise. cheerios!

HAPPY teachers' day
laoshi! i think you're the best teacher, because you are the first laoshi i really like. wo hui jiang hua yu! thank you so much :))

alrighty i'm sleepy.
i'll just pack my toilet stuff and journal into bag that is too fat.
and tumble into bliss. whee!
see yall in er, 4 days.
gloree! remember cake! tell me if i have to buy it, i'll msg you when i drive into singapore.
take care buddy :)


goodbye
 12:33 PM


& Monday, August 29

i planned.
i penned every single little detail of how my day was supposed to turn out.
i made a deal with myself.
because of just one phrase you made,
i noticed you've been slacking. what happened? you used to be so punctual in everything.
it hurt bad because i knew you were right.
so i planned, penned and dealed.

i didnt complete everything i planned.
oh no i omited much in fact.
but i stuck to not doing what i told myself i couldnt do.
and i'm proud, somewhat.
i'll do it again tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and on and on and on. without You nothing is possible, thankfully You're always around.

alrighty O.
i just realised that tomorrow's the last day of school. splendid:))
well i managed to escape one long monday, stayed home coughing and wheezing. slept a little, accompanied brother to the doctor, spent too much time on homework. today is the worst day to do homework that require too much thinking, like GP AQ and chinese compo. creavtive juices seem to cease production, thereby giving me a mental block the entire day. figured i was tired of just sitting there and staring at the questions, so i spent most part of the day enjoying the creativity of other human beings. yay books:)

i'm done with 'chinese takeout' by arther nersesian.
and on to 'the memory of running' by ron mclarty.
when i'm done, back to the library for more goodies.

i like the new shampoo.


goodbye
 9:55 PM


& Saturday, August 27

so this is it. i slept my way to good health.
wonderful, i feel like i'm finally rested after the longest time.
i shall not count the number of hours because it will be too numerous. i fear that i shall never reach this number again in the course of my life in what you call, a junior college. so i shall not even count lest i feel sad about lack of sleep. two whole afternoons, one whole night lost in slumber and dreams. its weird but you still dream when you're sick. hohum.

this is wonderful, really.
because i'm not done with 2 kings and 2 chronicles. and 4 verses.
i hope to complete it before i crash and dream again.

another wonderful thing, my dad had this weird idea about changing our SCV plan to some digital plan thing. so he packed the little black box nicely and went to exchange it to that little new grey nice box. well the downside of this exchange, this little new grey nice box comes with a starhub card which my dearest father can remove, and thereby removing everything on the tv screen. which translates to, no card no tv. wow. now that's a great way to improve our grades. of course there is an upside to this, or i wouldnt call it wonderful. for one, there is a possibility of my grades improving. and for two, due to some promotional period, now our tv has excess to every single cable tv channel! i am incredibly amused and delighted. it wont last long, thankfully. or i'll probably be retained ten times over. that aside, it really is rather facinating. i still cant get over the fact that i can watch any channel i want now. whee.

i just watched pirates of the carribean.
on a channel my dad doesnt subscibe to, i must add.
anyway i think johnny depp is as cool as ever.
the bloom guy still as ugly as ever.
hohum.

ok i shall run to the shower to shower,
and back to the comfy couch to get lost in the books 2 kings and 2 chronicles. ciao :)


goodbye
 11:40 PM


& Thursday, August 25

it is so stupid to blog everyday.
i blog the most when i'm busy,
and i blog the least when i'm busiest.
weirdo, you.

oh well, i'm sick of doing math.
figured i relax a little before getting down to geog essay, comprehension and some random chinese papers which are a-term overdue. wow so exciting, you never realise how much stuff you have to do until you write them down. and then you wonder which is most urgent, so you do that and leave the rest to er, tomorrow? go me :)

i miss my little brother.
hope he's fine and well and managed to keep all limbs intact at his annual adventure camp in kota tinggi. oh little brother, you're the only one at home who makes sure we (your evil siblings) get a cold room when we walk into our bedrooms at night. and i say this to you and only you, what's your point? or you got no argument, really. well you're coming home soon, and we'll return to our love-hate relationship immediately i know. often i irritate, always i love :)

hohum, i failed again, like totally.
alarm rang
fumble fumble.
stumble on clock.
search for knob.
press. arh peace finally.
snore.
i cant believe this.
hurhur i expected it obviously, but i'm supposed to frustrated with myself. esther whywhywhy. you pig :)

that two-period talk with grace was good.
you made geog lect pass so much faster, thank you :)
whee geog trip's coming!

i am finally done with coffee traders.
took like 3 weeks just to complete one book. sigh.
oh well holidays are here(yayyayay) so off i go to the nice national library and borrow more books as an excuse to not study.

and now, geog essay.
unfortunately.


goodbye
 8:56 PM


& Wednesday, August 24

i much rather have a day in pictures, obviously.
but camera is still in the hospital due to my dad's keen eye for detail.

so here's a day in words.
with no particular sequence, and absolutely senseless.
unless you're me, of course :)

a travel to infinity
on a uncle toby strawberry yoghurt bar.
a row along a river,
oh i'm mineralised.
no longer exclusive,
aqulifer regolith.
trader on coffee, pineapple and bananas.
a marathon, beautiful antarctica.
insane numbers with first name complex.
insane teacher who refuses to admit their complexity.
missing score, missing sleep, missing the point.
i'm fine, yea i'm fine.

esther you're gonna sleep before 12 for once.
the past few days has been gut-wrenching, churning the killer written report. painful :(
crazy GP cum PW teacher goes,
when's your spa? 4 more weeks right.
then why haven't yall done your compres??
hello sir, PROJECT WORK.
teachers amaze me, really.
i still wonder about gossips behind those innocent-looking doors.
with the huge name STAFF ROOM in front.

alright i'm blogging too much.
sleepsleepsleep. but hair is wet, so hair will be horrifying tomorrow.
PLAN to wake up early to TRY finishing compre, whose content i feel is utterly stupid. and bathe, MAYBE.
highly unlikely anything will come to pass, but i'll try to drag my fats off the bed and into the shower. for once.

as for now, 1 kings before i crash and die.
tms, my dears :)


goodbye
 10:17 PM


&

i chased.
ran my heart out, i almost flew.
its there, in front.
you cant see?
hah i can, i'm better than you.
i'm still chasing, figure.

halt, you stopped.
i'm not stupid, aint stopping with you.
blind fool
keep going, i'm reaching.
you, quitter.
choke on my dust.

the goal so close, i can taste it.
its here, reach.
grab, open, nothing.
it cant be, i dont believe.
grab, open, disbelief.
it was here. i felt it. i did

i heard footsteps.
thud stomp boom.
sound magnified, didnt turn to know it's you.
i expected malice, yes gloat.
and yet a gentle voice,
my dear, you have been chasing the wind.

i, fool.


goodbye
 12:43 AM


& Tuesday, August 23

i didnt know how to answer it.
so i jumped at that little opportunity.
ran. you understand dont you.
i cant talk about it if i havent done what i was supposed to do.
maybe next time.

its sad that we tie our moods to our relationships are with people.
like today we laughed alot, good day.
today we didnt talk much, bad day.

well according to that warped definition,
today was a good day.
had plenty of laughs with sixone.
hopefully the geog trip would bind us closer :)
64% of us are going. yay class bonding.

Father please bless our time together.
may i be a little candle for you every single moment, lighted of course :)
another time to look at your creation.
please do not let me be washed away by the river, and show me a beautiful rock i can bring home.
extended time i hope.
i know i need it :))

operation floating esther. hahahaha that was funny.
its insane how almost every convo now revolves around the geog trip.
tell me people, how many convos have started with
lets plan what food to bring for geog field trip.
this is extremely amusing.
insane sixoners even planned a trip to carrefour(?) just to get tidbits. haha funny people. pity i cant go, i got loads of stuff to get which equals big hole in pocket. oh man the coming of september is such a trying and money-sucking period. i repeat, the coming of september is such a tiring and painful period. but of course, i rather have you and you and you than money :) awww.

i have been trying to keep my expectations down, really.
oh well, the worse i expect it to be, the better it would be.
sigh another warped theory by yours truly. lol.
i hope to play four on a couch with them, whee it'll be a blast.
but then again, no one plays four on a couch better than lvl 5.
ok maybe we should play ungame,
nahh.

cough cough cough, literally.


goodbye
 10:25 PM


& Monday, August 22

it was a bad day to start the week, totally.
frankly i thought i grew out of it, but no.
that feeling is still as raw, as intense as ever.
painful, really.
i kept asking,
what do you do if trusting is the hardest thing to do.
it is so insanely hard, i cant do this alone.
the worst part about this whole thing,
you know that whatever you're thinking about is not important at all.
it is so self.
you know so well, yet you fall again.

oh well tomorrow will be better, cos He promised He will never leave me alone.
it is so ironic, how many times did we sing the song trust His heart.
what about in His time. sigh esther. head knowledge vs heart knowledge.
it never changes, does it.

i did tms today. [yes glorijoytanshien (buddythatwillmakemylifemorepainful), pray for the heart, only the heart] 4 verses and 1 chronicles. we'll try our best alright!

you dont read the bible for God.
you dont memorise verses for Him.
i guess we do it for ourselves, that when things happen His word will be a source of comfort and refuge. when people question, we wont falter.
just like today, He answered my question, even before i asked.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, His good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12:2

favourite tms verse, number 2 :)
my dear child, you are so small. you cant see what happens in the next milli-second, I can see eternity. I made eternity. I, eternity.
I am good, I am faithful, I love you. that's all you need to know, in your heart.


goodbye
 11:40 PM


&

its been a weird day.
feels like we are so caught up with the events and things of the world.
a hi-bye. or
we must do this, and that. oh man dont forget that! that's it, alright see ya. bye.

i hardly see you, not that we talk much i know.
but your presence is comforting, you're clueless i bet.
and so you come and go, come and go.
sonner or later, its bye again.

doing things for the wrong reasons.
hmm something to think about.

money.
another thing to think about.

relationships.
who in the world doesnt think about.

thinking about.
sometimes there are so many things to think about
i have to think about what i have to think about.

towkay no/never enough.
uncle can i have a bowl of sleep?
dreamless please,
if dream is good then add.
if dream very good, add more.

consumers, we are really.
how incredibly sad.

kings and chronicles.
C and D.
go figure.


goodbye
 12:33 AM


& Saturday, August 20

wings is swing with the 's' misplaced.
wins is swing with the 'g' lost.
swine is swing with the 'g' replaced.
wigs is swing re-arranged with 'n' lost in translation.

swing = sin(wg) = sin(m'g)
'w' is the inverse of 'm'. for the incredibly slow, draw DOUBLE-YOU on a piece of paper and invert it. ohmygoodness magic! i see an AM.
please note this is no mathematical formula therefore the mathematician is not restricted to mathematical laws, which mean yours truly can do anything i want to transform the equation to whatever i desire. so there.
better get on with the equation, mathematicians do not talk that much my dear. alrighty, here it goes.
swing = sin(wg) = sin(m'g) = sin'(mg).

viola! (plus violin and cello) that was lame -.- why sorry, i'm trying to be more artsy and funny alright. you broke my heart:( alright good mathematicians are scatterbrains so all's forgotten cos i am a good mathematician. i continue.

viola! the sine inverse of the weight of any matter on earth equates to the swing of the matter. however if you draw a sine curve, you will realise that sin x is less than or equals to one. therefore any matter on earth must be less than or equals to 1kg to have swing, thus i conlude that no one on earth has swing because not even a new born baby weighs 1 kg (i weighed 3 point something something i think). ok if you are premature, then you have a possibility of having swing. but you wouldnt care what swing is when you're so young, besides you'll grow quickly and you'll find out there will be an error 2 when you want to swing because you will no longer be 1 kg.

i apologise. doing the dreaded written report has gotten me bonkers. and after reading so many books (fiction of course) about maths and physics (see 'proof' and 'in search of klingsor'), i thought it'll be fun to come up with a little theory of my own. oh i have a criticism of my own theory! when you learn geography and economics, you find out that every single theory is flawed. but i will be the first ever person to come up with a theory and rebute it immediately. listen carefully.

swing is an english word.
sin'(mg) is a mathematical term.
bet you didnt notice that
bet you didnt notice that i was talking to myself while cruelly manipulating the equation.
bet you didnt notice that there are absolutely no smiles in this whole post, i am dead serious, really.

not :))))))
i really apologise, i'll be esther lim soon, promise.
alright back to written report.
nah i give up. better rest.
if this goes on, i'll probably prove another equation.
in chinese.
and you wouldnt want to see that, i assure you :)

if so much nonsense can come out from a little word.
imagine what God can do with your little life, little gifts, little hands.
you'll be comforted to know that whatever God proves is valid.
unlike this insane mathematician-wannabe.
because He is, well God.
He proves Himself.


goodbye
 10:40 PM


& Friday, August 19

it's the thrill in the swing.
the whoosh in thin air, success unknown.
the satisfaction. a hit. crash. sweet.
the sudden weight, you push.
people scamble
heads toward heaven
gasp where is it?
fling that, ground hurt.
couldnt care less, run.
the sound of it, coming. too fast.
flying, almost hitting. legs hurry, please.
smack, it arrived.
thump, base touch foot.
OUT.
grin. amazing, softball is.
swing.


its amazing how you feel so many emotions in a few seconds.
its amazing how holidays take forever to come.
omgosh, you mean its already august? didnt i first walk into that school, yesterday.
its amazing how time disappears. i'm getting old complaining about holidays taking forever to come.
its amazing how you're reminded of people you havent seen in centuries, and you wonder you mean she's still alive. and then you recall oh we were schooling together last year. and then you rebuke what centuries, esther you idiot.
its amazing how blogs can link link link link link link, whee a friend(still a friend?) from the last century year.
its amazing how i can resent and love so much, at the same time.
its amazing how i'm still sitting here typing this, when even the owl, no i mean cool-sister has decided to crash and dream.
its amazing how i'm so easily amazed.

esther there's school tmr.
you have to wake up in 5 hours.
couldnt care less, swing.

6.37pm.
i was wrong, cool sister hadnt crashed and started dreaming when i blogged. even when i finally climbed up the stairs to my little room, she was downstairs using the phone. haha always an owl. go england also never change :p

alright, i have 20 hours to learn the verses of trust His heart.
oh no.


goodbye
 12:54 AM


& Thursday, August 18

kriss, i miss you too!
haha you're not the first to ask me go get a guestbook/tagboard so people can comment. hohum. i'll consider, really. love you:)

geog trip is brought forward by one day! whee:)))
i cant believe how one day can change everything. -smile
let's see, i get to miss another school day.
which is great considering wednesday is a bad day, with PW and guitar.
and the goodest part (sorry, best doesnt sound good enough) i'm gonna be in church on sun! yaye.
4th sept has so much going on. i can do PA for service, i can prepare the birthday cake for youth, and it's average's and mode's birthday that week. birthday dinner that night, where papa may say a speech. lol:)
so now i can enjoy geog trip and 4th sept. happy-ness and thankYou-ness:))

alrighty, tomorrow is the second last friday of this term for me. its supposed to be the last, really. but unfortunately for us no one but our current president is eligible to be the next president. thus, 27th is not a public holiday, 26th is no longer a half day because why would vjc need to prepare voting stations in the school when what-do-you-call-that happened, oh yes a walkover. i am thrilled, not.


goodbye
 9:08 PM


& Tuesday, August 16

i cant believe its only tuesday. which means 3 more days to the weekend and 183738 days to geog trip. 1 sept hurry! i cant wait to go, really.
havent been on a school trip since sec 2?! haha went to china where i picked my first rock:))

the wedding dinner was fun. maybe its because there were not too many interruptions like please stand to welcome the couple, look the bride is in her 384th dress tonight! or those funny dishes which need plenty of visible gas and lights turned out in order to be served. dont get me wrong, i'm not against it. just that it was great having a traditional real chinese wedding dinner again. cousins were funny, i had a very good time thank you very much:))

oh yes! i managed to complete TWO, er what do you call it. covering a pen with a long long thread and make words appear. a little lopsided, some parts rough, totally amatuer. slighty ugly, words constipated, i am so proud. hur i did emmanuel first, and it turned out pretty weird. but i'm keeping it of course, it reminds me that He's always with me despite my imperfections and flaws. yaye!

oh oh i must update! agnes worries about our family when we go overseas, even though its like only malaysia. even the time we flew up to meet her. can you believe it?! i couldnt at first, really. its weird imagining my steady and strong and what-is-fear sister, wondering about us when we travel. but i guess if i were in her shoes, i'll feel the exact same thing, except i wont say anything. oh well, this new-found knowledge makes me feel a little ashamed. when she travel, i dont worry for her at all. i'm always thinking she's travelling again! whywhy or where's jie now? wonder if she got my rock. hohum.

its the little things that get you down.
yet its also the little things that keep you going on.

its the little lines in songs, that make me listen.
again, again, yet again.


goodbye
 10:37 PM


& Sunday, August 14

dreams are really weird.
today's was no exception, better record everything before i lose everything like stella did :p

dreams are really funny.
its like a cham-po of every single thing in your life. surprisingly it revealed many issues i face but am clueless about. i'm very impressed, feels like i know more than i thought i really know.
there was a weird red swimming pool, some meeting in the toilet, a walk along a hill. bleahh. anyway many people appeared, surprisingly you and you didnt appear. hm this is weird.

the age of not believing
When you rush around in hopeless circles
Searching ev'rywhere for something true
You're at the age of not believing
When all the make believe is through

When you set aside your childhood heroes
And your dreams are lost up on a shelf
You're at the age of not believing
And worst of all you doubt yourself

You're a castaway where no one hears you
On a barren isle in a lonely sea
Where did all the happy endings go?
Where can all the good times be?

You must face the age of not believing
Doubting ev'rything you ever knew
Until at last you start believing
There's something wonderful...
Truly wonderful in you.

hohum.
another wedding dinner. sigh.


goodbye
 6:30 PM


& Saturday, August 13

if, and only if, i leave.
i will have loads of time to say goodbye to stella, so they say.
oh yes, they need the numbers for hire-all-the-people-you-need-to-make-up-numbers company. if anyone should know a company like this, kindly inform them thank you.
the bill shall go to them too naturally :p

haha funny.

tee has gone, with a million well-wishers and well-wishes.
i wish you JESUS buddy(:
may you grow closer to Him everyday, and rely on Him for strength in everything.
salute you, head BUG.
catcherr :p God bless and live well, you! emmanuel.

the third cookie.
i repeat, the third cookie.
hur better increase your investment on us, its running out
time will come when you really need it, and you'll find it gone, finished, expired, wan le.
haha you are weird, fancy investing in students. how amusing(:
oh well, enjoy the 777 cookies you'll receive.
i'm gonna start a list, dates and events of cookie-giving days are trackable. haha(:

i think more than you think i think, thought so.
she's smarter than i thought she was, yeah she's good.
i'm more difficult than you think i am, try me.
you're as cool as i ever thought you were, dont change will you(:
i care more than you know, yup you really dont.
i fear more than i show, cos you dont have to know.
i'm tired more than i care to admit, yawn.


goodbye
 11:45 PM


& Thursday, August 11

oh yes i forgot to mention this yesterday.
i'm too short to watch a movie properly. bleahhh. the gradient of that silly theatre in bugis is baddd, and of course the guy in front of me aint that short too. had to resort to sitting on my shoes, poor adidas sneakers got squashed. oh well, beats watching a show in the front row anytime, right lvl5s??

did i mention that johnny depp is really cool. smile-
quirky and weird.

i dont feel so hot. bahh there's something wrong, and i just cant pick it out. i cant point it out. tomorrow's gonna be another killer day, i can feel it in my bones. or maybe its because i just glanced at my timetable. sigh.

oh yes! i spent the whole afternoon alone in the national library. yaye, i like. except the bad experience of money disappearing, which i still do not understand. why would anyone want to steal less than 10 bucks? grr we are an evil race, it runs through our blood. i enjoyed myself immensely though. whee the library is good. the silence is so loud, i love:)
we should have library excursions, or library field trips. waitwait upon thinking, nahhhh. sixone would ruin the silence, i'm sure of it.

i wonder, and it clicked.
i'm just like you, no wonder.

its horrid. i refuse to look again.

kriss, i dont suppose you read this, but i'll give it a shot. saw you at nat library today. we literally walked past each other, can you believe it. i really wanted to say hi but my dad was waiting. am really glad to see you're ok, take care alright? God bless:)


goodbye
 9:34 PM


& Wednesday, August 10

enchante.

am over the moon:))))
ok i exaggerate. i cant survive on the moon without a million equipment and an oxygen tank so they say, let alone over it. but nothing is impossible aye?

willywonkachocfactory was really good. however there are many critics out there who say it is a bad show yadayadayada. so i suggest you go with an open mind and make the decision yourself:)

after all, the best prize is a sur-prize. -laugh.

ok i better stop quoting before people start murdering me for killing the story. just one more, please be kind.

i dont feel so hot, what makes you feel better when you're feeling bad.

johnny depp, you are so cool :) pity autographs do not exist in movies. tim burton, you are mighty good too! if ever i join the movie industry, i wanna work with you.


goodbye
 10:11 PM


& Tuesday, August 9

yesterday was a blast, totally.
ok so i was supposed to blog about yesterday, yesterday.
but due to the weakness of flesh and exhaustion of mind, i didnt.

it was a great day.
celebration of national day without having to stress out over the school parade for once. we wore ethnic costumes yaye:) frankly i was surprised at victorians. aint we supposed to be the most vibrant jc ever, yet half of them came in boring school uniform. oh well i cant blame them i know, peer pressure is so real and therefore extremely scary. if my class girls had decided against, i'll probably be here comenting at how stupid it is to ask students to wear ethnic costumes on national day. sigh, how weak we are. anyway, i enjoyed the photos and laughs and dressing up. cheerios sixone!

met gloree later. the first time in my whole entire life i went out with her alone. bet you cant believe it, if it makes you feel better i cant believe it too :p it was tiring, had to move quickly because i was out with glorijoy. you know glorijoy=tall=longlegs=walkfast. esther.. i am not going to please you by continuing, you get the idea. hurhur it was fun, we did what we had to do, and did more than i thought we were supposed to do. esther decide! hurry! i heard that so many times, which was rather painful as esther and artistic either fall on different planes, or fall on the same plane and are parallel. they will never ever intersect, which is very sad i know. nevertheless we managed to make decisions, quite quickly in fact though whether accurate is unknown. funny convos which range from dustbins to muesli bars, from shirts to sticks, from marshmallows to toufu, from people to people. cheerios glorjoyre! anyway you asked me if people could die from migraine, truth is i'm absolutely clueless. i said yes cos i'm a pessimist. in any case please do not die and prove me right. take care bud!

dim sum dollies was the ultimate! cheers to cool-sister of course who willingly paid for our tickets. whee you rock:)) selena tan and hossan leong were really funny. emma yong is so good with languages, and i love pam oei's song. if i ever fall in love, shoot me in the head. pity the song's not in the cd, pitypitypity. i got their autographs! actually i wanted to get them the moment they said they would give. but i thought my jies would think its stupid so i decided not to ask. then agnes said go get la, how many times will you see them. haha that was so cool. told selenatan i enjoyed your performance very much, told hossanleong i think you're really funny. hossan leong can play the piano! i didnt know that. and all of them can sing really well. oh yes! the music coordinator was a lady! i couldnt believe my ears when i heard it. ohmygoodness even i discriminate against my own gender. sigh esther.

what do i want to be when i grow up.
did you watch the national day parade. as usual they had little smiley kids saying what they would like to be. astronaut policeman teacher doctor lawyer and what nots. well now that i recall, i wanted to be every single person they mentioned. i even wanted to be in the army, until i found out what we ladies go through, ok you didnt need to know that. in any case, times have changed and i laugh at myself. not that i know what i want to do now, i just know what i dont want to do.

however, strong interest is not unknown.
a photojournalist, then i can take photos, write and travel.
and a strange wish to join the theatre. no i dont want to act, just other stuff like music props sound? gee this totally contradicts esther and artistic being on different planes. dreams are absurd, but i rather have them than not. of course being an accountant is always a choice. grr decisions.

happy birthday singapore.
often i complain, always i love.
agnes said the purpose of dim sum dollies was to laugh at singapore. yet torwards the end, i felt somewhat proud of it. its like i know it, yet i keep it at the back of my head and refuse to acknowledge it. today i realised again, there's no place else i can call home. the more i disagree, the greater the responsibility to do something. i still want to go with all my heart, but i will be back :))

i spent the whole day, avoiding.


goodbye
 11:58 PM


& Monday, August 8

today was a blast.
actually the weekend was really cool too,
until what happened towards the end, which ruined everything, or so i thought.
sleeping makes everything better. it was a bright new morning, bitterness melted.
sometimes i resent, but always i love.
my greatest fear is that i'll become just like you, really.

i havent said my thankyous.
thank You for everything that happened, especially the carnival. i kept thinking to myself cannot-make-it. you have absolutely no idea how many times i thought that, i know You know. thank You for Your grace despite my puny non-existent faith. lijun and i even thought of plan B in the event our stall was ostracised -sell sausages. sigh, we women of little faith. other than the revenge of the aunties and grownup's kiasuism, it went really well. You are so faithful:)

thank you jiehui lijun gloree stella tee for helping out with the carnival. yall were fantabulous:))
especially jiehui with your BRILLANT idea. a great team, i couldnt ask for more. heh i placed pingpongpunk near my table, with all the start/yeti cave/death valley/hei dong. and who can forget all the paulfrank pictures. its there to remind me that You are faithful and how You use individuals to do Your good work together:)

i enjoyed the stayover very much. but now everything seems rather hazy, this is quite bad:(
er stella has nice shampoo? oh yesyes! we found the spine-apple card, that was a very pleasant surprise(: i ate like one whole can of pringles, while the rest attacked the banana nut crunch(only banana and nut i must add). we were like totally dead at first, i must commend on stella and tee for their determination to wake us up. haha it paid off and we ended up talking to the wee hours of the morning. did you notice that none of us can tell you what time we slept? heh thanks to stella who said dont you know its taboo to ask what the time is during a stayover. sigh i'm really gonna miss you tee! you made my laugh so much it felt like my ribs broke. we must do this again :))
i remember.
- lijun and i finished one whole carton of milk.
- stella's little cousin is pretty sweet and smart. not that that's surprising, after all she's from PL.
- stella believed that lijun juliet and i went chasing after gloree's car. hahahahahaha.
- dinosaurs were a hot topic, like totally!
- i switched sleeping positions like 4 times?! near the door, near the window, on the mattress, on the bed. lol:)
- stella and her cupboard. -laugh
- we ate our next day's breakfast the night before. how amusing:)


goodbye
 11:54 PM


& Sunday, August 7

i was looking forward to blogging about weekend, totally.
i lost it.
maybe next time. maybe never.
because mood is so important.
i dont want to cause a wrong impression.
besides, my input on it wouldnt matter.

irony.
i love written ironies.
i hate real ironies.
bahhhhh.

mumble. i not angsty.

in search of klingsor jorge volpi
A platitude: truth that is relative.
When subject and object make contact, what emerges is a jumbled mixture of the two, which then leads us to the none-too-surprising conclusion that, in practice, each mind is a world unto itself.

how true, everything is relative.
i wish i could write.
and i wish expectations were not so painful.

you're nasty.


goodbye
 11:45 PM


& Saturday, August 6

time is a weird concept.

tick tick
it never returns.

sometimes it feels like a roundabout.
the hands on the clock go round and round.
how do you define beginning and end.
the sun rises and sets, day after day. nothing seem to change and we're living in a monotonous cycle. it feels like we're living the same day over and over again.

we know we're not.
time allows regret.
time allows satisfaction, being glad knowing you gave your all.
time reminds us we're walking a road of no return, no edit button.
it makes every single action, every single word important.
it makes life worth living well.

thank You for creating time.
for without time, the great commision has no meaning.
for without time, who are missionaries.
for without time, what is evangelism.
i'm glad we cant turn back time. for that would be eliminating time altogether, wouldnt it.

oh man i'm running late now, literally.


goodbye
 8:57 AM


& Friday, August 5

love, unspoken

geog field trip is finally confirmed! wheeee yaye. i dont mind malaysia, just hoping we'll go some place else next year, Africa or Japan or Mongolia or something. i mean at least take a plane la :)) besides i have like a million rocks from our neighbour. can you imagine a rock from mongolia?!
esther your wishes are absurd.
anyway we'll be gone from 1 - 4 sept. hur that means we have to celebrate the whole of teachers' day with teachers. thankfully this is geography and not econs. geogers are cool to hang out with (:

its been a trying day.

maybe its because i just inhaled almost 4 hours of toxic fumes by the stupid UHU glue. seriously i was starting to feel whoozy. mummy made me switch off the aircon, not that she needed to ask. think she's worried my IQ will drop further and that i'll lose my sense of direction.

dejavu.
is there any explanation whatsoever.
sometimes it freaks me out. shudder-

i tried the entire week to kill my throat.
chocolate lackofwater lackofsleep everything i tell you
yet my throat is perfectly fine and i had absolutely no excuse to skip today:(
i'll try again next week.

ok now i'm so sleepy i can't complete a


goodbye
 11:58 PM


& Thursday, August 4

the #1 practice.
all of us were at home, except agnes as usual. i tell you she's so busy sometimes it feels like she's still farfaraway. oh well. so anyway
piano starts making noise.
almost everyone's in the study room
jane walks out from toilet and saw me(i'm the only one at home who irritates the rest by playing almost everyday see)
jane: huh? who's playing the piano?!
esther: papa la. he's practising his choir song.
jane: ohhh.

haha papa you're so funny.
guess what he ponned like a million practices for the foochow service choir. so he brought back his music scores to practise.

the #73465 practice. he practises all the time :)
papa: jie! come and play for me.
esther: orhh.
hur i think he got quite irritated with me because of my lousy sightreading and counting skills. please understand, some parts of the song had like 6 flats?! everyonefaint- actually that's the reason why he called me in the first place. he could play most parts except the insane 6-flatted section. oh yah there was a 5 flat section too, and C major(ahh bliss.) so i played plenty of wrong notes and we took almost half an hour to finish 2 songs. i love these times :)

i started practising scales recently. like 4 hours ago :)
let's see C major D major E major F major.
shall go hunt for my oldold scale book and learn all the crazy harmonic and melodic and what nots.

everyone is piano crazy now, which is very amusing.
funny gloree with all her fanciful intros.
weird lijun who can play the piano really well. except that she stops the moment she see anyone pro and hides under the piano. now you understand why we always practise together, she has no reason to hide :p it's ok, i can accomplish everything with His help and hard work!

go the distance
mei ma? mei
they run in unison.
3 days to write a GP essay, and i'm not done yet. yay me.
grr vectors.
i wish baoqingtian is on tonight.


goodbye
 10:02 PM


& Tuesday, August 2

i decided that fiction is not enough.


goodbye
 11:54 PM


& Monday, August 1

lion king :))
Timon and Pumba
I can see what's happining (what?!)
And they don't have a clue (who?!)
They'll fall in love and here's the bottom line
Our trio's down to two (oh.)
The sweet caress of twilight
There's magic everywhere
And with all this romantic atmosphere
Disaster's in the air!

And if they fall in love tonight (sniff)
It can be assumed
His care-free days with us are history
In short our pal is doomed!
Timon and Pumba crying
this is for you. cheers!

both sides now :))
Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way

Oh but now old friends they're acting strange
And they shake their heads
And they tell me that I've changed
Well something's lost but something's gained
In living every day

I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all.

2225.
the day's been too long. gee fever where are you?! you hurt my throat yet you refused to heat my forehead. bleahh hurry hurry. oh well i spent the whole evening on the comfy couch, dream dream dream. i tell you if absurdity of dreams is a true representation of one's creativity, hur i'm da vinci. dreams are weird:(

i hate GP. i can never sound as intellectual as arty-sister. which is why she does topics like what is the place of religion in this changing world blahblahblah and i do topics like should criminals be given a second chance, or better yet is education the best solution to the problem of poverty. the second best thing about geography, you throw everything out like nobody's business.

hear what i say.
but please, listen to what i dont say.


goodbye
 1:41 PM


& overhauled

esther
eighteen
emmanuel

& overtoned

adriel amos belinda charissa christine crystal daffy eliza eugene felicia gabriel gloria glorijoy grace hilda huiyu jaclyn jamie jennifer kristie liwei meien mingdao paul philicia rachel rachel ryan shangjun sherman tee tng wenkai yvonne ziteng

thankGod

& overawed

VEEJAY elanpictures apparentlynothing edwardjackman chromasia topleftpixel dailysnap joecunningham londonrubbish rosshillier mute invisiblethreads mysteryme nitifixis movie trailers
designer;

& overrated

twoohohfive
jan feb mar apr
may jun jul aug
sep oct nov dec
twoohohsix
jan feb mar apr
may jun jul aug
sep oct

& overlooked

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