bleahhh;
the last hurrah
& Monday, May 29
so much good in goodbye.
familiarity bores so we
withhold; how
burdensome
no one knows we
know; how liberating
mock envy condemn, secretly
blatantly wrong.
so much to leave behind
nothing worth returnin to
unworthy to return
as if there's a difference
goodbye
5:42 PM
& Friday, May 26
it's been a fanstastic week, and we're happily happy. i dont suppose you want to hear all about it, but i'll just record it, for memory's sake. classes were exceptionally boring tiring and long, maybe it's a teacher who's causing all the misery. i hope that you'll stop being angsty (because you're old so you dont have the right to be, i'm jokinggg). you're my favourite teacher, nothing will change that. i guess that's the reason why the disappointment is so great, i expected better sir. so i'm hoping that this long break will rid the bitterness, and we get the old you back. gosh, all of us know we need it. dont give up on us! please
oh the favourite teacher thing. haha jane was just telling me, how students are being downright unfair when they claim that teachers are so biased (laoshi! ok nevermind). afterall, we all prefer certain teachers, and are EVIL to others. HM i never ever thought about it from that angle before, all the double standards. we're too guilty.
i am digressing. let's go back to how good this week was. well, concert is over, so the huge pressure is lifted and we are always having fun during practices. this does nothing but fuel the excitment about japan. to some people, i say i dont feel anything out of the ordinary. to others, i say i'm superduper excited. haha i dont know how i feel exactly, so my answer depends on my mood at that particular time. maybe it's the fear that i'll expect too much and invite disappointment, so i'm trying real hard to feel normal. o well (:
FINALS. i love vj i love vj i love vj. ahahaha actually i managed to watch just ONE of it, soccer. and snippets of softball when i sneaked out of practices. gosh, it's the BEST thing ever. i love matches so much. everyone's talking about every soccer detail, so i shall do just the opposite. besides i know nuts about soccer, in fact i just learn what the offside thing is all about yesterday. it was really pretty scary, and most of the time, i was ready to accept that we're going to lose again. the first response is to pray (for once, one might say). i mean, what else can i do. other than cheer my lungs out, cheer my throat sore, and cheer my hands numb. the players cant hear anything. and yet, at the same time, how to pray? Father, i pray that vj wins. Father i pray that mj misses. i cant do that, i couldnt. so i tried the 'correct' prayer, 'Father may Your will be done'. and yet i know full well i didnt want to accept His will if it wasnt in line with my desire. oh we struggle, so so much. vjc soccer won, yet my lesson's half done. at least this Teacher wont give up. teach us how to lose. teach us how to win (:
sixone's surprise. yall make me so happy. LOVE :D
who cares if that PSYCHOmetric test was disgusting. a timely reminder that we're not as smart as we like to be. and the scary realisation that i can't multiply manually no more. alright this is so long, i think i've exhausted all the posts for the rest of the month, and next month. you can find me sleeping at mugging lane in 9 days. till theblocksareover, sayonara :))) GO VEEJAY. c'mon!
goodbye
10:55 PM
& Tuesday, May 23
we could use with
more laughter
more walks
more books
more responsibility
more memory
more love
and more people like nicole.
'principles, my dear!'
darn it's so hard, what will i do without you.
GRIN/GRIM
goodbye
11:13 PM
& Sunday, May 21
the beauty of a rose, is its destiny of death.
for we appreciate the fleeting
take for granted the unchanging
until they change
until they leave
have we forgotten? i cant bear it.
would you call that forgetting? DENY
you threw us into this situation, we're clueless.
we know not, the correct response. the right thought.
the ideal reaction. for that stupid action.
i cant say i miss you.
i cant say i dont.
you made me question my compassion
question my purpose.
i dislike detest hate the answer.
it shouldnt have happened.
i havent lost the need to know why.
maybe someday i'll have all the answers.
i'm not crying. but someone out there is.
you dont hear, do you?
you revealed my selfishness, to heights i'd never thought possible.
you dont know, do you.
where are you
goodbye
1:07 AM
& Friday, May 19
it's done, oh finally it's over.
and we're drunk with satisfaction.
a nice big tick to the huge item on the insanely long checklist, feels liberating and so fine.
i'm really glad.
too much thanking to do. thank You.
gosh i'm shacked. and it really doesnt help that i'm once again reminded at how bad i am with the lets-keep-in-touch thing. sigh it'll probably sound like i'm giving excuses, so never mind. maybe i am, maybe that's why things are like that today. i'm clueless about what i should do now.
sometimes i just wish i'm really good at something. and i mean really good. like how some people are so good with the piano, guitar, making people feel comfortable... blahblahblah. but we shouldnt think that way right? no we shouldnt, cos we're made different, thankfully! at least i can open canned food reallyreally well ((:
okay i'm getting incoherent.
there's tons of homework to slog through
many finals to look forward to -GRIN
J A P A N (i still cant believe i'm visiting a place before agnes!)
so much blessings, we can't contain it
goodbye
11:52 PM
& Wednesday, May 17
darn, i wish i were in softball.
then again, there wont be JAPAN! i'm so excited, yet unwilling. let's just say unwilling to go for the exchange programme because they will be so good and we will be so lousy. but there's so much to look forward too! the plane ride, universal studios, the memorium, all the meals and nights. arrgh tell me who can sit down to get homework done at this time? plus all the matches and practices. the cinema and library and BED. sheesh i feel like giving up my student status, then claim it back after 3 weeks. which sadly, is the time to cram everything and hope we dont explode.
i love school. it's one of the places where it seems everyone knows what they're supposed to do, and go ahead with it. it's hard to find that elsewhere. it's one of the places where i'm only responsible for my own actions, which will change in the working world, so they say. i'm dreading the day we're kicked out, because i have a badbad feeling we wont know each other anymore. it's really hard, the keep-in-touch thing.
to think i was counting down to the time i'd leave. how strange, our fickleness.
as for now, we'll cheer our hearts out and hope for a FULL day off to bum at someone's house!
if i were happier, there'll be two of me. (:
and if i sneezed anymore, there'll be three of me.
so now, we cant decide whether to laugh or cry.
goodbye
11:03 PM
& Tuesday, May 16
i refuse to be swayed by impulse.
can't allow it.
you're mighty fine.
laughh
goodbye
11:49 PM
& Sunday, May 14
ALL THE BLOOPERS
goodbye
11:35 PM
& Wednesday, May 10
time's special issue : 100 most influential people in the world today. a delightful read.
funny how they're so famous, and i only know 18%. more than half being celebrities. okay, so it is not at all amusing, and i am only broadcasting my stupidity if i say they're not outstanding enough. i'm at fault, no doubt about that. interestingly, the major issues now are global warming and improving people's lives. if you didnt give up trying to open eyes to increasing world temperature. if you gave tons of money to some charity. if you're doing all you can to find the cure for Aids. if you're going to third world countries, to experience just a little of what people are going through, and then return to your world to share. all this and more, heh you're on your way to becoming the next most influential person. the next unconventional hero.
not forgetting all the google skpe flickr inventors, and of course the president of the united states.
what can be said about the list? to some, it could just a list. perhaps an encouragement. maybe an eye-opener. and according to the cynics, another attempt to claim that good people exist in the world (not that all influential people are good). to me, it's a little bit of all these. lists change all the time, one day you're popular; the next, you're forgotten. it's just another list. yet a timely reminder that we dont have to be exceptionally smart or famous to be make an impact. just sticking to our principles in rough times, just standing up for what is right when it is so darn hard. in fact, you can make a huge impact just by being the lousiest president the world has ever seen. gosh, how easy it is to be influential?
which is why these questions are so important. am i on someone's 'top 100 most influencial people to me' list? am i positive or negative? okay let me digress to say hello to MR KERVIN TANG. my cool ex-teacher. you're on my list! definitely positive -grin
after all this, we can't not thank, can we?
for all the people who'd made an impact, whether directly or not, whether good or bad
to the Giver of all good things, thank You.
dont let me forget.
goodbye
10:14 PM
& Friday, May 5
ahaha, the only good thing about polling day is getting kicked out of school to kenny roger's. whee the food, great as usual; the company, better than ever! how timely. just on monday, i was thinking about how i havent laughed properly for a long time. then poof, came this fanstastic week. not that it came out of nowhere, thank You.
SMILEE.
oh. i'm done with twopointfour too! unless i repeat yeartwo, i would never have to run round the track, trying to beat time again. i prefer straight roads and no pressure, thank you. so we're left with five items, which equates to the almost-impossible jump again. hope everything will go well, and that napfa will end nicely for all of us.
kill the pessimist.
expel the sloth.
shoot the skeptic.
listen more, talk less.
sleep less, dream less.
quit the evil streak.
and we'll do just fine.
just fine
goodbye
10:28 PM
& Wednesday, May 3
' A fine line separates the weary recluse from the fearful hermit. Finer still is the line between hermit and bitter misanthrope '
really?
the piano that shouts regret, over and over again. but we cant beat up ourselves now can we? after all the 'encouragements' that poured out from the mouth saying come on, do something about it, maybe we had no idea how to comfort, nothing else to say. not that we didnt mean it, not that we forgot the difference between words and actions. just that we can't comprehend how huge the gap is.
maybe someday, i'll stop replacing all the 'i's with 'we's.
maybe someday, i'll play regret away.
the impeccable blacknwhites.
how nebulous.
you, amazing raconteur.
goodbye
10:44 PM