bleahhh;
the last hurrah
& Monday, February 28
and today is a good day.
one of the most meaningful day i've ever had:)
-i woke up early.
-went for a run:)
i love running. it makes me feel good about myself.
-swept the floor and changed the bedsheets.
-watched ACADEMY AWARDS!
chris rock is funny but he offends people.
i have sooo many shows i wanna watch.
eternal sunshine of a spotless mind, million dollar baby, aviator..
and when you look at the people of the world.
you see the different cultures, talents
the individuals.
and you can't not believe.
there must be a creator:)
the evidence is there
and i believe!
-went to school
- went to city hall
met stella evan lijun.
i had such a great time.
cant thank you guys enough:)
today i took time to admire His creation.
today i took time to love myself.
today i took time to help my mum.
today i took time to listen to Him.
today i walked with Him.
and therefore today is a good day.
i have another ambition.
i'm gonna work on a movie set.
and CHINA.
a desire does not mean a calling.
so i will pray and ask.
continually.
to glori lijun evan tee sherman paul
i give you the hammer.
please whack me everytime i screw up.
and i will not be kind if you screw up.
cos you are my really good friend.
goodbye
9:13 PM
& Sunday, February 27
i watched a movie today:)
RAY.
i will never do drugs.
i will never do alcohol.
i will never smoke.
never.
they mess up things.
reuben is soooo cute.
i fell in love today :)
goodbye
9:02 PM
& Saturday, February 26
whenever it rains.
i remember His goodness.
i'm reminded that He hears every single prayer.
i feel so comforted
and i feel happy, so happy:)
my beans have grown.
goodbye
8:30 PM
& Friday, February 25
there is survivor tonight.
academy awards is on monday!
oscaroscaroscar:)
YAY!!
i will not think of Os
i will not think of Os
i will watch TV.
i must watch a moviiieeeee.
to jie:
thank you so much for calling :)
i am so sorry.
i forgot to tell you its on monday:(
oh well
i promise you
you'll be the first person i text.
i have to call papa, call mummy
then i'll text you:)
please text back
and please be encouraging no matter what happens.
love ya:)
Father i pray for rain.
please make singapore wetter
and england warmer.
goodbye
8:22 PM
& Thursday, February 24
chinese new year is over.
yesterday:)
i still love yusheng.
alotalotalot.
i need to watch a movie.
this weekend
before i die on monday.
-sideways:)
do i look 18?
the best thing about results on mon.
i can finally watch Academy Awards LIVE.
YES!
chris rock ROCKS:)
its amazing how people can turn out so different from your first impression of them.
its amazing how dragons are so paranoid.
chill please
its getting stupid.
khairul can do 2 chin ups only.
but he is still cool:)
i'm gonna do 5 one day.
to meiqi:
thanks gurl:)
that was really sweet of you.
you ROCK.
to stella:
bleeahhh
my blog does not like you.
haha:)
take care and FOCUS.
don't think about us too much.
LOL:)
goodbye
5:34 PM
& Tuesday, February 22
The curious incident of the dog in the night-time.
this is a cool book:)
i'm at chapter 23 page 16
(no i did not get that wrong)
and i'm addicted.
read it.
my legs hurt.
you have no idea how much you use your leg muscles until they hurt.
you have no idea how much you need JESUS until you hurt.
self pity is the worst thing on earth.
and i realised i forgot to water my beans.
oh shoot.
goodbye
9:20 PM
& Monday, February 21
nostalgia sets in.
after you drink strawberry drinking yougart
cos it tastes so much like vitagen.
and you miss the times.
- when you fight with your siblings over vitagen flavours.
- when you had to struggle to open the fridge.
- when you had to jump to reach the light switch.
- when you could sleep every single afternoon.
- when your dad would hold your hand every time you cross the road.
- when your mum would come to your room every night just to see if you are ok.
- when you had no idea what cramps were.
- when maths were really about numbers and not about As and Bs and notations.
- when eating fast food was sooooo exciting.
- when you had free lunch at home everyday.
- when the school bus would send you right to your doorstep everyday.
- when people were really people.
- when i never worried about what people will say if i do badly.
i miss the time
when i was young and thought i would never grow up.
well, i've grown up.
i just realised that i am almost 2 decades old.
goodbye
8:49 PM
& Sunday, February 20
i have finally seen the crapiness side of me.
thanks to lijun of course:)
to lijun: YOU ROCK!
had such a great time getting COOL presents for people.
i know eugene loves his present.
jamie was sweet about it
glori was NOT.
she was like,"i got nothing to say."
note: never get glori presents again and do not wrap it with expensive paper cos she will have nothing to say. :)
it was worth it though.
frankly i did it just to see their reactions.
and they were priceless:)
oh yes.
glorijoy is GLORJOY REEEEE.
she is having a violent streak suddenly.
actually its because she's jealous that i can be MEAN
and she is only AVERAGE.
yes jealousy is a scary thing.
AND TO VENT:
so results are almost out
according to stella the worst thing that can happen:
fail only what
RIGHT.failingmeansmyparentslookingatmeandsaying
inadisappointedvoicethattheyexpectedmetodobetter
andofcourserelativesthatwillsayhowcomeandfriends
whowillhaveashockedlookontheirfacesandsayyouare
jokingrightmysisteroverseashowamisupposedtotell
herthatididsobadlyiamgoingtohavetoleavevjcandof
courseexplaintomyteachersinplwhohavehighhopes.
and so what if i do well.
it does not make anything better.
it may make you happy, but it wont give you joy.
and worse, it will make you proud.
so i've decided
nothing else matters other than knowing CHRIST my Lord
i consider everything else RUBBISH.
cos they are worth nothing in the light of His glory.
goodbye
9:03 PM
& Friday, February 18
so today was a cool day:)
other than failing mock napfa
because standing broad jump is stupid.
and hard.
and the distance i am supposed to jump is longer than me.
its a good day:)
geog tutorial was great
discussing underpopulation
and we suddenly change the topic to political geography.
ok fine. just politics.
we were talking about how pathetic singaporeans are.
with no freedom of speech.
currently living in the L** dynasty.
with a dictator who is so old.
that was fun:)
when we stand on the name of Jesus
tell me who can stand before
in the mighty name of Jesus
we have the VICTORY.
i am a victorious victorian.
cos He is my banner, my provider, my KING:)
ps: i edited my friendster profile:)
cos it was too long
and i was bored:)
goodbye
8:46 PM
& Thursday, February 17
my angel and mortal are soooo sweet
-smiles
another memory:)
go to jamie's blog
and look at the guy
i rubbed shoulders with:)
i mean.
my shoulder-his arm.
time flies
its seems like yesterday
i went out with them
to relax and laugh and live
and get stella her lovely present
and it seems like tomorrow
results are out.
i don't know about tomorrow
but i know who holds tomorrow
and i know who holds my hand.
therefore
tomorrow is a good day
no matter what happens:)
goodbye
4:57 PM
& Tuesday, February 15
friendster is so screwwed
i currently have one friend.
only.
this is perfect.
i apologise
am in a state: Extra Grace Required
please be gracious.
a sudden desire to be anonymous.
to be carefree.
cos no matter how many motivational quotes you hear
no matter how many inspiring stories you listen to
all the just-dream-and-your-dreams-will-come-true
and just-believe-in-yourself
is CRAP.
we are imperfect people with imperfect motives.
try as we might, we will never be good.
we live in a forsaken world
thankfully this is not my home.
suddenly quiting is so tempting
but you won't
cos you will do yourself justice.
and make Him proud.
i won't quit.
goodbye
9:52 PM
&
whatever.
i can't be bothered.
i've given up trying to please you
you are so unreasonable sometimes.
in case you haven't noticed
i'm seventeen.
to the person who found/took my wallet:
please return it.
keep the 4 bucks if you want
i have memories in there that i intend to keep.
goodbye
9:21 PM
& Sunday, February 13
she appeared!
my sister finally appeared on jennifer's blog:)
-smiles
havent seen her in a loong time
she looks good right?!
i miss you.
but you'll be back soon. i know:)
and He will take care of you.
i know that too.
love ya:)
goodbye
12:31 AM
& Saturday, February 12
:)
went to visit mrs ding!
she is sooo nice.
with an endless supply of goodies and coke
i think i ate 10 nougarts.
talked and talked and talked
i really didnt want to leave.
havent talked so freely for a long time.
at least not in vj. yet
i hope i can make it.
i really dont wanna leave.
highlighter's meeting:)
crystal the head highlighter was so kan cheong!!
we kept telling her that this group thrives on last minute stuff.
LOL:)
of course the highlighters once again put up a magnificent skit.
bishi-bashi/jamie oliver/street fighter:)
twice again tomorrow!
YAY!
i think this is the best skit so far:)
thank You for the cross
my King
my Saviour
my friend
goodbye
11:59 PM
& Friday, February 11
cross country ROCKS:)
3.6km! -smiles
haven't enjoyed myself so much for a loong time
the run was great:)
did not stop, did not kill any old people, did not curse the overhead bridge.
please congratulate me:)
girls and teachers ran first
gosh victorians are FIT
Mr Ho can run!
Ms Tham overtook me and was 8th
note: stella walked like 95% of her cross country. tsktsk:)
the guys ran and they were pretty good too
mr tan is really funny.
cant believe i was scared of him.
05S61 is supeer pro!!
we were 2nd among the year 1s
we ROCK:)
mass dance maassss daancce:)
i love the mass dances
khairul danced on stage again!!
there was this crazy ex-victorian dancing wainey wainey.
gosh he was so scary
danced as if he was possessed or something
there was like a 3m radius among him
i laughed throughout the mass dance because of him.
went for lunch:)
bought valentine's day presents for my angel and mortal
i have a lot of work to do
discipline. esther
oh yes. my bro got HALO 2
discipline. willpower
note: i must stop getting irritated so easily
and stop showing my irritation
it is too obvious
respect. esther. respect
why is it ALWAYS the little things?
they bring your good/almost perfect day
DOWN
i'm back to square 1. again
goodbye
4:37 PM
& Thursday, February 10
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEV!
take care girl!
cny is over:)
went for lunch at grandma's house as usual
ate yusheng!!
gosh there is too much politics everywhere
is it a chinese thing or a human thing
we say nice things
even if we dont mean it
we say nice things
because we MUST be polite
and yet the sarcasm is so evident
saarcassmmm:
a way of speaking or writing that involves saying the opposite of what you really mean in order to be (MEAN)
note: that is not the exact dictionary definition but close.
whatever.
i am sarcastic, sometimes
not to that extent.
and laughing it off DOES NOT make it nicer or pleasing to the ear.
i think it is a chinese thing.
maybe a adult thing.
why do i care anyway
i am not one of them.
christmas christmas christmas
i cant wait.
just watched this christmasy show
cliche happy ending but so sweeet
awwww
i admit i'm a hopeless romantic at times.
there are many out there i'm sure
if they admit it
i guess all these reflect what humans want
happy endings right?!
why do you think there are so many fairy tales?
to make children happy?
nahhhhh.
goodbye
10:43 PM
& Wednesday, February 9
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
especially to jie in england.
ps: you are definitely not forgotten
quite a lot of angpow for someone not present:)
cny was good
so i was being paranoid
its the same every year really
-tried to get a glimpse of PM lee but failed as usual
-ate nian gao!!
-ate popiah:)
-wore a skirt
-watched a vcd in the afternoon
-ate renuion dinner leftovers
-papa is not home yet
i wore pink today.
mummy was kinda proud of me, i think
haha:)
ok..i admit
wearing a skirt is quite nice:)
watched super saturday vcd, like finally
three of them still crack me up:)
i think i sound weird
my sis thinks she sounds weird
paul to liwei: don't bow to me! bow to JESUS CHRIST! you stupid!
LOL:)
goodbye
6:55 PM
& Tuesday, February 8
i am scared of mr tan
he has a stern face
as in fierce scary frightening face
he is the PE head
he has a son and triplets
i use to say i'm so glad i'm not his daughter
what would happen to me?
i shudder at the thought
until today
he brought his son for cny celebration
i saw him from afar, he carried his son and talked to him
he played with his son like any father would
and his son smiled and laughed
i saw mr tan smile:)
it could make you cry
i think i am an idiot
am feeling very ashamed of myself
i must change
i am still glad i'm not his daughter
i was scared of mr tan:)
goodbye
11:09 PM
&
woke up late
mummy's alarm decided to quit
we really should give it a long service award
i think it is older than me
missed the bus
waited for half hour
called mummy
sent right to the canteen of vj
early by 10 mins:)
cny celebration was cool!
nicole and wanting can dance so well:)
05S61 got second in banner competition
phoenix got first in cny competition
mass dance!
khairul danced on stage again!
PLMGSS
i feel old
mrs wong said we looked untidy
i think we look great
managed to avoid lao shi and mrs seah:)
cheers to me!
papa fetched me home
thanks:)
spring cleaning
it was actually quite bearable
considering we cleaned for the whole afternoon
i hung some long curtains
they were so heavy and stretching frantically for the hook makes you a little whoozy
after all that reaching
i think i grew taller:)
scrubbed the back with papa and erjie
i love cleaning with papa:)
he keeps saying good good very good
renuion dinner:)
yu sheng!!
i ate so much of that
hopefully i will really kuai GAO zhang da!
it was fun and heartwarming really
jie called:)
played sparklers again!
now:
papa is playing spider besides me on jie's labtop
he says that rat race is a stupid show
i second that
but i will still watch it because i must sleep late
then mummy papa will have a long life!
i got my first angpow:)
papa to me: work hard
hmmmm.
ps:
saw jen's photo's
finally saw jie's hse mate
peter
it was so unexpected
i expected him to look
well, different
saw her toilet too
looks nice!
hopefully jie will appear one day:)
this is a very long entry
it was a long day
goodbye
10:04 PM
& Monday, February 7
God does answers prayers
exodus 33:20
"But," he said, "you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live."
i was asking for too much.
today was a good day:)
3.2km
nonstopnonstopnonstop hits run:)
east coast was beautiful.
i finally voted for VJ's faces of the year:)
khairul:):)
cos he is so cool
and i dont care whether he is gay or bi or what the heck
he is still cool
hongkhim:):)
cos he is the cutest yr 2!
i got chased out of my room again
banished to the living room
that's twice this month
by a stupid mosquito
i cant believe it
my sis is like 1m away from me
and all she gets is a teeny weeny bite on her finger
overseas call
highlighters
-smiles
ps: i like the dictionary
goodbye
9:16 PM
& Sunday, February 6
i wish i could see You
i use to pray every night that i would not have a nightmare
thanks for answering them
if i prayed every night that i would like to see You
to hear Your voice
would You say yes?
am i asking for too much
goodbye
11:16 PM
&
i regret quitting piano
never thought i would feel this way
i regret not trying hard enough
i feel like i cheated myself
this is bad.
i am so temperamental i scare myself
to be blunt, i have bad mood swings
like the curve y = 20 sin 4x
i dont think i take it out on people(i really hope i dont)
i am quiet noisy quiet noisy quiet quiet
please pardon me
i've been weird the whole year
and cny will not do any good i'm sure
glori remembered:)
i knew i arrowed the right person
thanks! i'll do it next month.
i know i shouldnt complain but
i hate spring cleaning
i resent cleaning windows
lets move to somewhere really high
where cleaning windows would be soo much more exciting and dangerous
i had no idea there were 2343978 doors at home.
i better stop.
i'm still in a not-talking-online-cos-i-dont-want-to mood
so forgive me if i daoed you
dont feel offended (jamie)
i would do it to anyone.
glad u liked the card anyway
and dont get diabetes please:)
love you too!
have a great cny
i'll try.
goodbye
10:19 PM
& Saturday, February 5
turn left turn right
i have to do it twice tomorrow
this is quite embarrassing
i must be the girl
cos ethel has to play the piano
and somebody -ahem is too TALL:)
i think we did well considering it was soo last minute
really like this announcement group
cos all of them are sporting:)
and willing to contribute ideas and stuff
cheers to all of you:)
my chinese sucks BIG TIME
this is proof to lao shi
that being mean and always scolding someone with chim phrases that the person does not understand DOES NOT help the person at all, that person has forgotten everything.
which reminds me
O level results are coming out soon
hypocrisy is scary
expectations likewise
disappointment is a bitter feeling
goodbye
9:59 PM
& Friday, February 4
feeling really stupid in vj
i need to study
eye mo please
i need to stay awake
in love with pictures
i need want a camera
discipline please
i need to read newspapers daily
do quiet time faithfully
pray continually
i need a journal
i need JESUS
i realise i never blog about sch
most things have change, some never
being in the same class as guys is so different
it dosent feel good, just talking to half the class
vj people are really smart
they made shaky/unstable lecture hall tables
so that victorians cannot sleep
unfortunately, these stupid tables affect me the most
canteen food is so unhealthy compared to PL's
we have fried food, icecream, carrot cake, roti prata
and yet victorians are super fit
i am amazed
having a school beside east coast park is a pleasure/pressure
ps: i hate the overhead bridge
ran 3 km today, going to run 3.2 on mon and fri
victorians sing the victorian anthem really loudly
i miss:
the familiar faces, the warmth
the eggtarts
being able to sleep and have half the class sleeping too
the big/clean/nice smelling toilets
the daily devotions
being able to pull my blouse
the short distance home
bev kriss meien michelle fedora
the PE
the real laughter i hear from me
note:
i am not a sexist(maybe just a litttllle)
i am not sucidal(c below)
dont get me wrong
i dont miss PL
i miss the people
going to see PL-lites on tues
:)
goodbye
6:53 PM
& Thursday, February 3
i have a promise to keep
goodbye
5:05 PM
&
look around you
see the people
tall taller rich poor
each has a story
each an individual
according to people who count people
there are MANY people on this planet
you and i make two
i guess we are pretty insignificant
or very insignificant in fact
does it matter?
for each of us is precious in His eyes
frankly i cant wait to meet my Maker
i know i'll get my chance:)
what am i doing before the time comes
i could...
store riches that i cant bring up
climb the status ladder that will eventually disappear
study the theory of supply and demand till i die
only to realise that whatever i need i will have
OR
i could do His will
see Him smile
and hear the beautiful words
"well done good and faithful servant"
i really can't wait to see my Maker
i must focus on eternity
and not on the earthly
then everything will fall into place
and joy and peace will reign:)
i will focus on eternity
look forward to heaven
with His help:)
goodbye
1:18 AM
& Wednesday, February 2
a sudden love for jogging
a sudden fetish for black and white pics
a sudden urge to surrender all
a sudden dream of heaven
a sudden wonder at His magnificence
a sudden smile appears
a sudden unexplainable joy
a sudden feeling that i am loved:)
a sudden desire to serve
may they ALL never fade
i love You Jesus
i apologise
for putting You second
for looking to man for approval
for forgetting Your grace
i'm coming back to You:)
unworthy, but i need to
thank You
crush my pride
rid my stubborness
humble my heart
make me bow
i want to wonder forever
break me, use me
unworthy, but willing
note: guys should never make a girl cry
we ALL need to grow up
be sensible and sensitive
after all, we're 17
goodbye
10:38 PM
& Tuesday, February 1
unworthy
i cringe.
goodbye
10:06 PM