bleahhh;
the last hurrah
& Thursday, December 29
i've been waffling the entire day.
hate it, i definitely prefer to be clear 'bout what i want, what i must do, what i can do.
never seems to happen, does it.
today reminds me of sisyphus. if i spelt it correctly.
a greek(?) myth about this man, who was made to push a huge rock up the hill.
but the rock always rolled down in the end. so he kept pushing and pushing.
i watched a movie once, and this guy commented.
" were the gods punishing sisyphus? or were they testing him?"
sometimes it feels like whatever you do, you can never get where you want to be.
sometimes it feels like i'm not even half i hope to be.
sometimes i wonder if You have bigger plans.
sometimes i wonder if He ever gets disappointed.
sorry i'm afraid to fail.
too afraid of disappointment, i rather forgo the possibility of the prize.
You showed Yourself to thomas. wont You do it again?
to another thomas too sceptical.
goodbye
11:50 PM