bleahhh;
the last hurrah
& Wednesday, September 20
home alone
& its too cold
everything is going to conclude in five days. building up to a climax this weekend, going downhill on monday. i have the next two days to mull about it. then getting mindheartattacks for the rest of the week. for once, a conclusion begets a beginning (let me catch my breath). conflicting desires, fear and excitement mashed together. no idea which is better - status quo or the unknown.
i need to get down to math. even though i'm already counting down the minutes to 8pm for The Show's last episode (& this kind of math is good enough to blow your head). i watched the second last episode twice; am extremely conscious of the obsession. i need to get down to math. why get down? sounds as if we're so high up, too good for anything.
i feel like biking down to see you now
in five days. eyebags would have disappeared. i would have watched The Show's last episode 3 times. tms would be done. i would have spoken in front of many people, i do not know what to say. actually something came to mind, but decided it is not appropriate. the thought knocked again, i admonished and shooed it away. i would have led some songs. i would have biked down to see you. prelims would finally conclude. books returned. then waving goodbye through the glass. knowing you do not fancy it but unwilling to leave till you do. back home to find just one toothbrush in the cup.
goodbye
1:00 PM