bleahhh;
the last hurrah
& Friday, September 29
i missed the deadline i was supposed to meet. i do not fancy the thought of going to a teacher to discuss about how to make things better, because there is no way out. & frankly, i have not really thought through anything carefully. thinking through is one thing, asking my parents is another, asking You yet another.
even though it is rather fun to look through options, & what a great excuse to park myself in front of the computer, yet the thought of making such a major decision is rather daunting. oh how i long to have an opportunity to sit down at subway with You, and ask questions. how i wish that the voices i think i hear in my head, is not from my head. i hope i'm walking tall, walking the tough straight & narrow path. i know the answers to frequently asked questions. what about questions never asked?
aiyah now do what ah? i do this, you happy or not?
today was awesome. results aint everything, yet if i dont beat myself up and mull over it for a little while, i'm letting myself go too easily. next, we move on. the airport is always thrilling. sure we've had our share of sadness at that place. but today accumulated many laughs. laughter is not enough, but i aint complaining. attempting to mug, betting on amount of work to accomplish this weekend (bye sleep), teaching & learning gives one a sense of camarderie. comradeship. the we're all in this together. absolutely lovely. so i managed to secure myself a no-money bet. ((:
ahh dinner brought back memories of japan. plucking us away from reality; for a few precious moments, we're allowed to laugh freely and place trouble at the sidelines. that's not to say we are exceedingly troubled, or intensely stressed. just that trouble is always good to be forgotten, whatever the magnitude. saying goodbye was fun! all the best roshni (: i'm not going to lie and say that i will miss you loads, because i hardly know you nor you know me. the truth is, i'm really happy that you're going because the experience would be enriching and life-changing. plus singapore could really use a talent like you! mrt-ing was the highlight of the trip home! haha zhini never fails to be hilarious (: her sense of joy and contentment with life always leaves me ashamed and inspired. paul was a surprise. for once, the clever one made a mistake, assuring me we're on the right train, till it started to move towards changi and we went uh-oh. i'm stupid too, following blindly. oh what a glorious mistake! had an awesome time talking and catching up. pity everything will end in two months. but one cant complain when events meant for the good-memory bank appear without me asking. eh paul, when you're trying to conquer Mars. dont forget you had one person who geninuely believed in you when you were just joking. imagine the support when you're really working towards it. if only you knew how many impressions i'd made of you when i knew your name. perhaps one day you'll find out how honourable it is ((:
all our names are weighed down with the hopes our parents have. perhaps they didnt think too much into it, but i'm glad things happened the way they did. love cleanliness & faithfaithfaith. yes, mordecai's courage.
did plenty of telling (which is so different from talking). thank you
goodbye
11:59 PM